Like We Used To (JhoBea)

2

exlxyxnx

Iba ang sinisigaw
bakit pinipigilan ang pusong naliligaw?
Dahil ba siya'y naagaw?

BEA

"No! Jho please no! Please stay with me please!" I said while sobbing. She's coming with Nico.

Ayaw nya nang sumama sa akin

"Jho! Please wag mo akong iwan!" I am sobbing like a new born baby. I can no longer stop my tears from falling

"Isabel! Wake up! Anak wake up!" Nang imulat ko ang mga mata ko ay patuloy lang ang pag agos ng mga luha ko.

"M-mom, ayoko na I cant bear to lose her. Hindi ko na kayang magpanggap na kaya ko pa." Para na akong batang umiiyak sa mommy nya

"anak we can listen to you. C'mon tell me, what happened?" nag aalalang tanong nya

No one knows the real reason behind everything except me and Marci.

They all judged me because of their schema sa bagay na yun. Ni wala ngang nang hingi ng side ko

Even if masakit sa akin ay pinapalabas ko na lang na totoo lahat ng alam nila

"I-I am tired mom, just lock the door before closing it. Good night." I said coldly.

"But B—" I cut her off by telling her what I've said while ago

"Please mom. I am tired. Just go away." I dont want to be rude I just dont feel like telling them kung ano talaga yung nangyari between me and their Jhoana.

I was crying the whole night wala akong magawa kundi ang umiyak habang naka tingin sa buwan.

Ginagawa rin nya kaya ito? Sana...

It used to be me with her but now, I am literally all alone.

I have my family, friends, fans/supporters but I can feel my heart. It's filled with emptiness.

We used to look at the sky every time we're in the veranda but now I'm doing this alone.

"Jho I know this is crazy but this is the least thing I could do for myself. To talk to you even if you wont hear this. I will tell the moon to give you my good night kiss and send my love for you kahit na hindi mo na alam, kahit na hindi mo na maramdaman" Naramdaman ko ang malamig na simoy ng hangin na yumayakap sa akin

Pumikit akong saglit at para bang ilang minuto pag dilat ko ay papalabas na ulit ang haring araw.

I sighed in frustration.

Another sleepless night.

Another part of my life crying.

I prepared my stuffs kahit hindi ko naman gawain. It's Monday morning and I have to go back in Eliazo then training na

I did my morning rituals at exactly 4 am.

Nang makalabas ako sa banyo ay napa hinto ako sa mirror.

Hindi na ako to.

Malalim na ang ilalim ng mata,pugto pa mga mata, magulo ang buhok, nangangayayat

"Oo nga hindi na nga talaga ikaw yan." sabat ng isang boses na akala ko hindi ko na muling maririnig pa.

"Ate Ells!" gulat na sigaw ko

"I dont know what happened between you and Jho but I'm willing to listen kahit ilang oras pa." she seriously said

"Kung ano yung narinig mo from other people, yun talaga yung nangyari." walang ganang tugon ko sa kanya

"Bea you can fool them but not me, yourself and yung mga nasa itaas (God and Jesus) And just so you know I am a psychologist." may pag irap pa nyang sabi sa akin

"ate Ells may training pa kasi kami. Maybe we can talk some other time?" I asked awkwardly.

"Bea just so you know magtetraining daw kayo kasama kami." maarteng paalala nya sakin

"Aw. We're stuck with the oldies?" pakunwari kong malungkot

"Hayop na bata to. Anong kala mo sa amin? 60 plus na, senior citizen ganun?" ate Ells asked.

"Nope I thought you're 89 already." natatawang sabi ko kaya binato nya ako ng bag nya

take note: Gym Bag

"Hoy ate Ells masakit yun ah!" seryosong sabi ko habang sapo ko ang ulo kong tinamaan nya

"Weh? mas masakit pa sa pakikipag break ni Maraguinot sayo?" She sarcastically said.

"Is that even a question ha, ate Ells?" iritang bato ko ng tanong sa kanya

"Thats 50/50 bei. Half statement half question hahahaha" she said while laughing

"Tse. By the way did you bring your car?" Aba naman sasapakin ko to kung oo!

"Nawp. Hindi because I'm gonna sabay to you." conyo nyang sabi

Walang pasabi ay hinatak ko na sya pababa ng kwarto

"Finally! Ang tagal nyong mga bata kayo, halina't kakain na tayo." naka ngiting sabi ni Mommy sa amin

"Omg tita! Oh Bea narinig mo yun? Mga bata daw, "MGA" tsaka tara na grasya na oh!" ate Ells

"Uhm mom no, we're late already. Kain na lang po kami sa labas bye!" nagmamadali kong sabi.

I am not like this. I've changed a lot.

I bid goodbyes without kissing them or even "mano po"

Parang nawala na yung gana ko sa lahat even my family ever since walang nakinig sa akin.

"Hoy Bea De Leon! Pakainin mo ako sa buffet ha!?" angal ni ate Ells

"Oo na you're too loud eh!" iritang sabi ko.

Half hour later we went to her favorite buffet.

I am eating only wheat bread. Nothing more nothing less.

"So ano nga nangyari sa inyo ni Jhoana De L— Jhoana Evangelista na pala!" half seryoso yata tong si ate Ells. I cant describe her face.

Pagka upong pagka upo nya lantak ng pagkain tas yan agad ang tanong sa akin

"ate Ells I don't know how to say it to you din." panimula ko.

I just cant open up to anyone. It felt like magbabago ang tingin nila sa akin. They quickly judged me at hindi malayong gawin din ni ate Ells sa akin yun

We're inside the VIP sec of this buffet resto.

"Ate Ells pagod na ako." I said while chewing my bread.

"Aba no! kahit ako rin pagod na. De joke sabi ko nga wala akong love life pero sige since libre mo ako kwento ka na." she tried to lighten up the atmosphere.

Keyword: tried

"Hindi ko alam paano ieexplain one day ganun na agad lahat."

I remember those times na lagi kaming magkasama ni Jho, lagi kaming masaya at higit sa lahat—Nagmamahalan.

I fake a laugh "May mga bagay talaga na akala mo magiging okay sa huli hindi na pala. It will get out of the hands and its sad to say that our relationship is something that has to end." I said

Malungkot nya lang akong tinignan at saka maya maya pa ay hindi na nya ginagalaw ang pagkain nya at nagpupunas na ng mga mata. 

"I know that you're both stuck in reverse" she smiled bitterly

Stuck in Reverse it is. 

[A/N: pa share ng feels. Eydee is back tas magkasama pa sina J and B last Aug. 02 bleh!]