Follow the dying

37. LIKE ALWAYS

So I woke up today
Like always
Really sad
I keep wishing if I could stay here
And never be in touch with a world so bad

So I ask my mom "Do I have to go to school anymore ?"
And she said "That's not our choice"
Everyday that leaves me torn

Places that I don't want and doesn't want me
Got me walking around so cautiously
People that I don't want and doesn't want me
Keep telling me what I should be

I'm forced to like to do the things others like to do
Just like others have to pretend to like me
I never take my work seriously
Because that's not what I want to do
Just like no one takes me seriously
Because I'm not someone they like too

Every girl is trying to find a place
Not so they feel belonged
But because they don't want to look displaced

The very few who looks for love
Are left heartbroken
And keep asking how

So every time they ignore and treat us like trash
We get quieter and more reformed
When she asks me "why don't you talk?"
I simply shrug
Cause she is the reason why

When all is done
I run back home
Cause I don't want to stay here anymore
But sadly hell doesn't end here
Here comes the dessert

I wish I was satisfied like the others
I wish I could run away and come back when I want to

I live everyday in fear that I might live the rest of my life like today
But I keep living in the false hope whose days of death are long gone

With this fear and tears I try to sleep
Like always

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