I've become the type of person to constantly need validation for everything I do. That also makes me feel like a failure if I do something that annoyed or bothered someone. My mood switches so fast if someone corrects me on something. I used to take constructive criticism so well, and just improve on what it was. But not my self esteem is so low, to where constructive criticism is taken as "just quit trying, you'll never get better".
If I'm not given validation that I'm doing something right, I'll start to think that I'm doing something wrong. It's like I can't settle for neutral, but I can't accept that no response to anything I do doesn't mean that what I'm doing is bad. I will go into a full panic if I'm told that I forgot to do something as then I think that I'm not even good enough to complete simple tasks. My constant need to be accepted by everyone even affects my appearance. I've only been in one relationship and I feel like I'm not going to be in another one anytime soon. I look to feminine for girls to like me, but too masculine for guys to like me. I even resorted to asking a guy friend of mine if he found me attractive from a straight guys perspective. He said yes. But then of course I have to tell myself that he is only one guy, and not everyone is the same. I wish I could just not fall for people so hard because then I convince myself that they'll reject me, and I end up doing something to ensure that I'll never be in a relationship. I have nothing. I am nothing.
