Alexandria

Chapter 18

The Whisperers had retreated, having little or no ammo left, and now the border was filled with the cries of the injured. They'd lost surprisingly few people, five to be exact, but there were over a dozen injured. As a doctor from Hilltop finishes patching those up who are able to carry on, he makes his way with the injured towards Alexandria, protected by one of the Saviors in case they should meet trouble on the road.

Negan had been in the same spot since Lucille had met her end. Knelt on the grass, his head hung low as he stares at what's left of her.

"Negan," Rachel says softly, placing a hand against his shoulder. He flinches at her touch, yet makes no move as if to send her away. She kneels down beside him, watching as a tear rolls down his cheek. "I'm sorry."

The others had shook their heads at his reaction, but she knew what Lucille was to him. Simon had glanced over, knowing the same as she did. That Lucille was much more than just a bat, so much more.

"Jesus, Negan. It's just a bat. Pull yourself together," Dwight frowns.

Negan looks up at him, his eyes dark and his jaw clenched as he goes to make a move towards him.

Rachel keeps a firm grip on his arm. "Fuck off, Dwight!" She snaps, staring at him coldly. Dwight walks away somewhat sheepishly, mirroring Daryl as he hides behind his hair. "Negan. Tell me what you want me to do."

Negan shakes his head, picking up Lucille as he rises to his feet, cradling her in his arms. "I need to be alone," he barely whispers, heading towards the woods.

"Hey, where's he goin?" Daryl frowns.

Rachel holds out her arm, blocking Daryl's path. "I'll go after him in a minute. Just leave him."

"If he does somethin, ya know-"

"Daryl." Rachel holds up a hand. "Just don't, okay."

~

Negan had struggled to dig a shallow grave using a pick axe one of the Whisperers had left behind. He sits in front of her resting place, picking at the dirt beneath his nails.

Rachel watches Negan through the trees, her heart aching for him.

"Lucille. I.. i'm sorry, baby." Negan says, wiping at his eyes. "God i miss you so fucking much. I never got to bury you before. I know this isn't the same. I'm.. i'm sorry i never truly put you to rest. I was weak, baby. I just.. i couldn't do it. I hope you're at peace. I hope you're in heaven, and that you fell in love with someone who treats you a whole fuck load better than i did. And i hope they're fucking your brains out and then fucking them back in on a daily basis," he says with a smile. "I'll always miss you, Lucille. I'm sorry i named a stupid fucking baseball bat after you."

"Negan," Rachel whispers as she steps forward.

He jumps a little as he turns on his head. For a moment, he'd thought it was Lucille.

"I'm sorry. I know you said you wanted to be alone," Rachel says.

Negan shakes his head as he gets to his feet. "No, it's okay. I'm glad you're here."

Rachel steps closer, taking his hand in hers. "There's something i need to show you. Will you come with me?"

He raises an eyebrow. "Shouldn't we be getting back? Daryl will be having a fucking aneurysm as we speak."

"It's not far. Won't take us long," she says.

~

They had walked for twenty minutes in the direction of Alexandria, Negan asking every five minutes where they were going.