A Child's Depression

The Beginning

Remy POV

There aren't a lot of happy moments in my life, but I know for sure that before it all went wrong, these might have been the only time I have ever been really and truly happy.

Way before when I had a Mummy and a Daddy.
When I had a home, and not just a place where I live but an actual home. When daddy used to work and Mummy stayed home and cook everyday.
A place of love, a place of peace and joy, a place of laughter. These were the days when my siblings and I were siblings.

These memories are a bit fuzzier than some, maybe it is because I was so young when it was my reality. I was just a child, but I remember camping outside in the yard with my brothers and sisters.
Where grass would cover the average yard there was sand, as pure and as white as snow.

Thinking about it now I wonder if Lindin still looks like this today?

My life took a big twisted turned of events when we moved from Lindin to Georgetown. Not sure what age I was before we moved but I know those were good times.
We weren't rich but we werent poor either. Those were the days when I had a mummy and a daddy, when we looked after with care and love.

My dad was a police officer and my mom was just a housewife.
I had 6 siblings at the time. Not sure of their real name because we never used them. I was the youngest for the girls and and the 3rd last child for all my siblings.
There was Bozo, Shem, Willo, Dede, me also known as Remy, Savi and Ali.

Dede and I were closer to each other than the others.

We thought we were twins and because we were always told that we can be what ever we wanted, and so we wanted to be twins so much that we believed we were twins.

We did everything together and I mean everything.
You could not see one without the other.

We are 2 years apart from each other but after a few years for me to catch up to her height, you couldn't tell unless you knew us personally.

I don't remember the first couple of days in our new house after we moved but I do remember mummy and daddy fighting and cursing a lot about things kids wouldn't understand.

Daddy started hitting mummy and he often did it infront of us.
It would start in an innocent disagreement then it escalated into an argument and quickly turned physical, which often ended with daddy going to work and mummy crying and bleeding on the floor.

Soon after we moved daddy and mummy split up which I later learnt that daddy was cheating on mummy and with the constant beating she often received mummy couldn't take it anymore.
Back then it broke my little heart in two when daddy left us and moved out but now after going through my own relationships I now know what a toxic relationship is like and I am glad my mummy left daddy when she did.

I almost had another sibling. I remember mummy being pregnant , but I also remember daddy beating mummy bad and as usual left for work.
I remember after that mummy wasn't pregnant anymore.
Now I know it was because of daddy that I never got another sister or brother.

Mummy didn't know that the baby died in her belly and just went on living her life like normal. Cooking and cleaning and taking care of us.
Then mummy began passing brown urine and smelly unwanted waste. Mummy began feeling sick so she went to the doctor.
That was when she found out that the baby had been dead in her stomach for weeks and was decaying.
That must have been hard to hear.
Mummy had to go to surgery as soon as possible because she was also at risk of loosing her life.
The doctors had to take the baby out limbs by limbs until all the body parts were out. 

Now I know mummy was really strong to go through that alone.

I remember when daddy got enrolled in police training school.
He would stay for months before coming home.
Mummy went to visit him once because the usual pay checks daddy would send was not so usual anymore and mummy was curious to know why.
Daddy stopped coming home even when it was his time off.

When mummy got to the police training school she got directions to where daddy's bunker was. When she got there she found daddy in bed naked with another woman.
Yup, daddy was fucking another woman.