UnMuted (Sequel to Mute)

*4*

You

It was another chilled Saturday. Goddess was spending time with her family and Lauren was working a double shift. I'm hardly ever home alone, but when I am, I'm buried in my notebook.

I'm either writing, drawing, or just reading over some old stuff. I've had this book for a long time; since my shoelace attempt. I've written some pretty morbid and depressing things, but writing kept me busy.

The more I write, the less time I'm spending trying to kill myself.

As I flip through the pages, I see somewhat disturbing sketches and barely understandable words. I take a deep breath, reading over the scratchy handwriting. Not wanting to fully relive those dark memories, I flip the page.

I come across a poem, or a song, I titled Everybody Dies In Their Nightmares. I do a quick scan before reading it out loud, immediately remembering the melody to it.

Tired of feelin' like I'm trapped in my damn mind
Tired of feelin' like I'm wrapped in a damn lie
Tired of feelin' like my life is a damn game
Yeah, I really wanna die in the night time

Only time I feel pain, when I feel in love
And you can see it on my face that I'm damn numb
Only time I'm in my mind, when I'm all alone
That's why I'm really never alone in the night time

Change hoes like clothes, I can't get attached
'Cause these hoes fire starters like lit matches
I've been feeling really lost, ducking all attachments
I don't really go outside 'cause I hate traffic
I don't wanna go outside, get caught in traffic

Tired of feelin' like I'm trapped in my damn mind
Tired of feelin' like I'm wrapped in a damn lie
Tired of feelin' like my life is a damn game
Yeah, I really wanna die in the night die

Tired of feelin' like I'm trapped in my damn mind
Tired of feelin' like I'm wrapped in a damn lie
Tired of feelin' like my life is a damn game
Yeah, I really wanna die in the night time

Tired of feelin' like I'm trapped in my damn mind
Tired of feelin' like I'm wrapped in a damn lie
Tired of feelin' like my life is a damn game
Yeah, I really wanna die in the night time

Yeah, I really wanna die in the night time
Yeah, I really wanna die in the night time
Yeah, I really wanna die in the night time
Yeah, I really wanna die in the night time
Yeah, I really wanna die in the night time

I look down at my blemished arms, sighing with a slight smile. This was me, but it ain't no more. Out of nowhere, I hear someone sigh. My head snaps in their direction; it's Dinah. She wore a smile, though her eyes read sadness.

I furrow my eyebrows, "D-Dinah?" She enters the room completely and sits on the bed, "Lauren told me to come and check on you." I nod thoughtfully, looking back down at my book. I then close it and set it down on the bedside table.

"Do you still feel that way?" She breaks the brief silence. I look over at her, giving a light shrug, "Honest-nestly? S-Sometimes...I mean... after last week...I-I've been thinking a lot. S-Some bad...some good."

Her sculpted brows knit slightly as I continue, "But I think...of y'all...and I s-stop having those thoughts."

"Yeah?" I nod excitedly, "Yes. Like...I told you all that...I love y'all...I m-meant it when...I s-said that y'all keep...me alive." Her lips curl into a genuine smile and she throws an arm over my shoulder and pulls me into a side hug.