4:52 A.M. || h.s

f i v e

i decided to call rachel. the sadness in her voice warned me to hang up.

"Harry," her voice cracked, "did you not hear? she passed away a month ago. ella was sick for a very long time, did you not know?" i fell to my knees when i heard the words. i screamed and i cried, i cried so hard that tears wouldn't fall. i felt pain, pain all over. i've never experienced something so excruciating like this. it made sense. after her mother passed away, she understood how death affected people, and she didn't want to see her death affect me.

i wouldn't have taken the news well, but i loved her, and i thought i deserved to know, but i understood. i always did.

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present day

when the waves tickle me, the sun rises, i smile because you are here. you are in the waves. you are the sun. you're in my heart.

happy endings? there are none. no one enjoys saying goodbye. this is my goodbye to you. i hope you find love. i hope you find happiness. i hope you find me. i hope we meet, and i hope the sun rises, and i hope you smile because i love you.

soon, the sun lays on a plate of water, but the rays avoid me. the light shines on the water, the light shines on the sand, the light shines on the pier, but the light does not shine on me.

"ella," my voice manages "are you not going to kiss me?" the sun rays brush my lips, and i lower my green eyes to the sand. i feel your lips on mine, and weird enough, i feel your heart beat. it feels nostalgic.

the time now is 5:12 A.M., and i miss you more than i did at 4:52 A.M.