Olives, Saltwater, and Honey

3

After the seven dawns had passed, we were married. It was a traditional ceremony lasting three days. It was arguably the worst time of my life. I had learned quickly that Permenides was cold, structured, and rude. Our first kiss was wet, and his saliva was cold. My father was distant, people I had never even met cheered for us as we became husband and wife. And before I knew it, the wedding was over, I was in my old home gathering my belongings, and then being taken to his, excuse me our, home.

He did not try to lay with me the first night I was there. He did not even talk to me.

The next morning I awoke to the servants voices. They gently woke me up, took me to bathe, and set a place at the table for me to sit and await Permenides.

He walked in, took a seat, and lifted his gaze towards me.

"Tonight we will consecrate our marriage." His eyes burned into mine.

No good morning? No did I sleep well? I suppose it was dumb of me to expect anything kind from such a cold soul.

He lifted his fingers to his mouth holding lovely steaming piece bread soaking in fresh wine, ready to take a bite.

"Wait!" I stopped him.

He jumped slightly at my voice, putting the bread down and staring at me.

"What is wrong with you?" He said through gritted teeth.

"You did not thank the Gods..." My voice cracked.

He stared at me long for a while. His frigid eyes bore into my own.

"I do not worship the Gods, Eos. Nor do I condone the worship of them in my home. Our home, excuse me." A drop of sweat slid between my shoulder blades as his words left his mouth.

"I do not understand." My eyebrows pulled together quizzically.

"I do not worship your so called Gods, Eos. I did not pray to receive my wealth, I earned it. I am my own God. And as my wife you must spend your time worshipping me not praying to the wind." He waved his hand in the air to signify his indifference and the end of the conversation.

That moment is one I will never forget. There was a fly buzzing in the air, the soft murmurs of the slaves echoed through the halls ever so slightly, Permenides ate slowly, enjoying his breakfast. The anger that flowed through my veins startled me. My hands shook, I saw red, and I struggled to not lunge forward and kill my new husband.

No one would ever make me give up my faith. And for the next six years of our marriage I made it blatantly obvious that I continued praying to the Gods. In the beginning I was punished for my disobedience. Sent to my room with no supper, not being able to walk the grounds around our home, he tried to take every freedom he granted. But as time progressed and I did not falter, he gave up.

"Fine," he spat one night as I prayed before dinner, "Pray to your Zeus and Aphrodite, and Poseidon, pray to the wind, but do not forget that you are mine. And I am your first and foremost preoccupation."

The fire of independence and defiance that lives especially in young girls burned, igniting my cheeks. I had won, and he had lost and I made the mistake of thinking that it would always be so easy to get my way.

The first day he told me he did not worship the gods, was also the day he told me we were going to consecrate our marriage. I learned that Permenides was not a liar.

That day, between the stomach flipping fear of never being able to worship my Gods in the open again and the thought of this terrible man taking away my virtue I was unable to muster enough strength to get out of bed for the better half of the day. When I finally did get up my knees were weak, and my legs felt like jelly. I ate, and bathed, and sat by a window overlooking the village. If I looked hard enough I could even see the roof of my old home.

I didn't hear Permenides walk in and became very startled when two big hands wrapped around my shoulders.

“You are so tense, Eos. You really should relax.” He whispered into the top of my head.

He inhaled deeply.

“You smell so sweet, like honey.” He murmured.

He pressed against my hair and made a trail down to my ear. He took a deep jagged breath against my ear giving me goose bumps.

“Let’s move to the bed, shall we?” He took my hand and led me to the bed.

I sat on the edge of the bed, pulled my legs up, and wrapped my arms around myself. He stepped in front of me and pulled my chin up towards him. He planted a kiss on my lips causing my stomach to lurch forward. Bile rose in my throat as I involuntarily pulled away.

“I understand that you have never been with a man, I understand that you are only in your twelfth year but I am your husband now. You are not allowed to turn away from you. I am your first and foremost preoccupation. Your duty is to fulfill my needs and do exactly as I say. Do you understand?” Permenides’ hand grasped my chin firmly.

I pulled out of his grasp and nodded. He smiled slightly and pushed me down by shoulders.

“I’ll take it easy on you tonight.” He growled.

He ripped off my clothes, and put his lips against my most intimate places.

“You’ll love this, young one.” He chuckled.

I could hear slurping, and feel his wet tongue flipping here and there, but I felt nothing other than sheer disgust. He came up and removed his clothes. His member was small and pale. He pressed it against my core.

“You aren’t lubricating, but my saliva will help.” He commented.

He began pushing into me. Tears welled up in my eyes not only because of the pain and discomfort I was feeling but I was so disgusted by everything happening. For what felt like an eternity Permenides seized on top of me, until he filled me with a warm creamy textured liquid.

“It’s been declared that I am unable to have children by a doctor, so we will not have any children.” He whispered into my ears.

His groans and moans echoed in my mind.

“Well, thank you for the lovely night. Sleep well.” He said as he put his clothes on and left my room.

I lay very still for a few minutes before I threw up on the floor next to my bed. I summoned an overnight maid to fill a bath with water and to clean the mess in my room. I felt bad for making her clean my mess, but I didn’t know where anything was in that great big house. I scrubbed myself in the tub until my skin was raw and bleeding. When I returned to my bedroom the floor was spotless and my bed was made. I lay down, my hair still damp, and cried into my pillow.