My Public Diary

One More

Some people continuously say the phrase "One More".

"One more chip"

"One more episode"

"One more minute"

Then there are the worse ones...

"One more cut"

"One more skipped meal"

"One more attempt"

The one I struggle with is "one more skipped meal"

Today I have eaten but three things. A bowl of cereal, an apple, and a granola bar.

My stomach is yelling at me for food. But if I don't eat, I don't gain any weight.

Tomorrow I'll run, maybe on an empty stomach, maybe on a full one. If I exercise, I'll get healthy but if I eat, I'll get fat.

If I told any of this to my best friend, he'd make me get up and go make me eat something. He wouldn't care about the time or how I feel. He also wouldn't take no for an answer.

I'm hungry but I refuse to eat. I don't feel sick. I feel like I'm doing something to get rid of fat that's built up on my body.

I can't help doing what I do. I just sorta forget to eat until it's too late at night.

I've lost five pounds. But it wasn't by not eating. It was by eating right and exercise. But my mind is telling me that I could have lost more if I didn't eat.

I'm okay though. I'll try to eat tomorrow if you want me to. Do you want me to...?