being 17

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being 17 has its perks and its downfalls

like being able to watch rated R movies

but not being able to stay out after 10 alone

being 17 means you are almost an adult

meaning you'll be off to college in a year

and having to move out and be on your own

being 17 means you have more responsibilities

such as how to pay for college and maintain a job

or saving money to keep going to college

being 17 means that you are expected to do things

expected to be smart about every little action

maybe be able to afford an apartment

being 17 means that you don't need mommy's help

you are able to do things by yourself

more or less SHOULD be able to do things that way

being 17 means you are able to lie better

lying is like a second nature and you can hide things

like maybe the scars on your wrist

being 17 means that you don't have to listen to mom

you don't have to talk to her about problems

not that she would understand anyway

being 17 means that life is getting harder

worrying about college and apps is just the start

writing about yourself is the biggest challenge

being 17 means that writing apps will be like poetry

the main theme being "who are you"

or "what do you think or yourself"

being 17 means you need to KNOW these answers

but in reality these answers are foreign concepts

that you knew back when you were small

being 17 means that you need to drop everything

run away and never look back on the past

and hope that something good comes along

being 17 means that you have to trust yourself

trust that you won't relapse in front of the family

because you've held onto this secret forever now

being 17 means you have to hold on

to the demons that tell you that cutting a little deeper

will only make the best of you for the day

being 17 means that when you finally cut

you won't see blood at some point

you'll see the pain you've caused to everyone

being 17 means that you have to fake a smile

so that friends won't suspect anything

even if they see the marks on your wrist

being 17 is hard

because even the people that you thought were bright

are actually as sad as you are

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