when I was 11 I was always happy
I never complained about the weather and the only makeup I wore was a smile
when I was 12 I wasn't as happy
I started to whine when it sprinkled and I wore a little mascara
when I was 13 I wasn't happy at all
I complained when it was too hot or too cold and I started to wear eyeliner
when I was 14 I forgot what happy was
I hated going outside and I wore powder and concealer on a daily basis
when I was 15 I rarely smiled
going outside became a foreign concept and black became my favorite color
when I was 16 I learned to fake smiles and to self harm
seeing the scars only allowed me to get through the day
I'm now 17 and I learned keep on a fake smile
people believe I'm happy when I'm far from that
I don't wear a lot of makeup, but I have more scars on my wrist than ever before
when I turn 18 the fake smile from years before will look realistic
the scars will be faded but the pain never leaves...
