We're Just Lost Souls | TWILIGHT

Chapter Six

Martha's POV

Sometimes I wonder if there's a point. If there's a choice in how I can live my life because right now I don't feel I have any choice, any say in what I do. I'm controlled by everyone, my parents, teachers, maybe even my sister.

This feeling deep in my gut kept me alive but empty inside, for Hillary, for the person that will save me one day. I'm cold, I'm depressed. Everyone can be depressed, I'm just lucky I don't have it as bad as others. Waking up each day to look out the window and see only clouds scattering the sky, matched my mood. But I'll keep living, for as long as I can because I know Hillary will take the same path as me, I can't have that.

Again, I wake up. Clouds cover the sky like a dark grey blanket that I didn't welcome. The sound of rustling catches my attention, I roll overseeing Hillary looking for something in her bag frantically. I frown with confusion and sit up from bed.

"What are you looking for?" I ask almost concerned by how frantic she was.

"I can't find it. Where is it?" She spoke to herself, falling to her knees as she kept up her search.

"Hilly? Hills?!" I try to grab her attention but she didn't answer, "HILLARY!" I yell making her jump and snap her head towards me with wide eyes. Her eyes were crazed and bloodshot, dark bags lay under them.

"Martha I can't find it." She told me, tears in her eyes.

"What can't you find?" I ask sitting down next to her, grabbing her shoulders.

"The necklace Clara gave me." She sobbed throwing her arms around my neck. Clara, I remember her, but I haven't thought about her in so long. Hillary and she were close, almost like sisters. Right before she died she gave Hillary a necklace so she could remember her, she killed herself the next day. We were devastated, I have no idea how we learned to live with it. What made her do that to herself? I don't know that either. I'm pretty sure we both suppressed it, acting like we never even knew her as a way of coping.

I rub my sister's back, letting her cry into my shoulder. This was the first real emotion she's shown in a long time and it wasn't a good one.

"We'll find it. I promise." I told her as I tried to comfort her the best I could. We sat there for the next hour in each other's arms, on the ground surrounded by clothes. I searched the floor as I held my sister, scanning over the room for a gold chain. I saw it next to the door, under one of her shirts. I slowly reached over and grabbed it tightly in one hand, "here, told you I'd find it." I said handing the necklace to Hillary. Her eyes lit up and quickly clasped it around her neck where it should have been all along.

"Thanks, Marce. I owe you one." She said using her old nickname for me, I smiled slightly at the memory.

"Come on. Let's get ready for school." I stand up, extending my hand towards her and she takes it. Time for another day in hell.

•••

Hillary's POV

We make it to school on time, soaked from the rain. I sighed as I stepped into the warm building, the heat was welcoming but everything else wasn't. I looked at Martha with a frown as the bell rang.

"I'll...see you at lunch," I said before making my way to the first period. I clutched my necklace in my hand for comfort, I don't know how I ever forgot it. I walk into class probably looking like a total wreck and sit down in my seat next to the bronze haired Cullen. I didn't look at him but I felt him looking at me.