Two Hearts (YoonSeok/ Sobi)

DONT SKIP THIS ITS IMPORTANT AND IF YOU DO YOU MAY NEVER KNOW WHATS GOING ON

So obviously your girl has been gone for awhile, and im not sure when ill be back for good but you'll all know.

 Over the past few months my life has really gone down hill. I lost my of my best friends to suicide in October and I havent really been the same since. Depression and anxiety have gotten worse as time has passed to the point where im doing online school because I was sick and tired of missing so many days and honestly speaking I cant stand literally anyone there. Nobody really supports my desicison but its not their anxiety and depression to deal with so they have no say in this situation. 

 I missed so much school because most days I wouldn't have the ability to get ready for my day and fake everything for 8 hours a day with people i hate. And I left early a lot bc my panic and anxiety attacks got too much to deal with to the point where if I were to stay at school id probably have 911 called and be put into a physc ward but lets not talk too much about that. 

I will say it gets easier in some ways. Ive been able to talk about recently without completely breaking down so thats always good. Usually when I talk about it I have an episode and im not the same person I was for about 2 days. Well, I haven't been the same person in about 11 months but you know what I mean.

 I've also recently gotten into talking to my mom about my self harm past which has been a trip. Ive been clean for 2 years now but with everything that has happened im suprised I havent had a relapse. When I was younger (Maybe 9-12) i used to shave spots out my head and pull my hair bc I didnt want to hurt my skin but I gave up on that and cut for about a year till my mom caught me with fresh ones on my legs. And I finally told my mom how hard it is to live with the fact I did that to myself. Sure my life was hard with my dad being an addict and the constant arguing and drug dealers coming in and out but it could have been so much worse. 

 I will say everyday day is a battle but everyday you push past it, its a victory. Like I love my hair all being one length, and I like being able to see my thighs and legs and see just skin rather then wounds and self hatered.  

 Things will get better guys, I promise you. It may not seem like it but it will. There will be days where you're one step behind but you'll catch up.

 Now if youve made it through my sob story we should maybe talk about my actually story. 

WHAT DO YOU GUYS WANT TO HAPPEN? SHOULD I JUST WRITE A NEW BOOK? SHOULD I REDO THIS ONE? HELP ME I DONT KNOW!

You guys give me the inspirtation to write and i will. However I might do it on my personal acc because Ashley has basically taken over this one and I might as well utilize my main. I want to get back into writing because i honestly love it so much and I love recieving feedback from you guys, it alway makes my day and yall are fucking funny. 

 If you guys see this yall then youre apart of the two hearts club..or the love club, i dont know yall are creative come up with a name. 

 I know my story my be a little bit triggering but I feel like if I let you know this youll get a better understanding of me and can help me out in a way.

 Love you all, just hit me up if you ever need anything or just a friend, im good company