Abuse - Suga x Reader

chapter 4

well yesterday went well.... why do i have to feel so fucking dumb... i was supposed to get to know the guy first before going out with him.... just to be sure.. I should not get so attached to him... because if i do... Im just going to hurt myself... even though Im physically hurt... i do not want to be mentally  broken... 

all I should think about now is that.... Im being used.. use to get the girl he likes and Im not gonna get angry if he actually like someone but he is going out with me lol... Im just saying is that.. i should not get to attached to him... 

If I know what kind of a person he is then Im prepared on what to do.. and whats gonna happen in the future... all this thoughts makes me more nervous and frustrated... ugh..... i hate myself... why am i so dumb.... 

???: "-ey.." 

Sophia:" hey Y/N"

Y/N: "oh h-hey... how long have you been there?"

Sophia: "i have been here for like 5 minutes ago.. what were you thinking?"

Y/N:" oh.. nothing.. "

Sophia: "so what happened last night... did you accept his question?"

Y/N: "ah... yeah about that... uhmm... yes..." i said whispering like 

Sophia: "you guys are dating now?.."

i just nodded not wanting to say it out loud and i can feel my face a little warm.. 

Well school is always the same everyday... Nothing is really special...

Time skip

To tell you the truth I was very very lucky these past few weeks... My mother wasn't abusing me... oh have I told you guys about me being grounded using my phone right and secretly using it behind my mother's back ...

Well today wasn't a very very lucky day for me... I did  not know she was coming home early and we'll unfortunately I got  caught using it...

Y/N's mother: "HAVE.I.NOT.MADE.MYSLEF.CLEAR.TELLING.YOU.ABOUT.DOING.YOU'RE.HOMEWORK.FIRST.AND.NOT.USING.YOU'RE.PHONE.FOR.THE.FUCKING.WHOLE.YEAR!!"

I went silent when she was talking when I know that would only make her more angry at me.

Y/N's mother: "I'm not gonna ask you again!!"

Y/N: "yes you did" I said softly...

I felt a palm reached my face... and I was in shock not knowing my mother would seriously slap me..

I contained my tears from falling.. not letting her know how much it fucking hurts..
I went to my room and lock the door behind me... I lay down on my bed and put my pillow over my head and let the pain takes over me... after some time.... I open my bag pack and started reading some books... because I've done my homework since yesterday...

Well today was unexpected... Like I did not expect her to slap me at all... I never thought she would actually... even though I'm her daughter she could have explain it in a nice way... not like abusing me over a freaking phone.... damn just because I have been on my phone for like 30 minutes she would freaking slap me...

I wanted to tell Sophia about this but that would only makes drama.... and I don't want to be make a scene on school... Well even though I'm together with Suga doesn't makes anything better actually... Well first of all I barely know the guy... second he just confessed to me with out him probably thinking about it twice... and surely by a week from now we will broke up...

Well that wouldn't hurt me since I'm still not sure if I can truly trust him or not... why would you trust a guy who you barely know for a week?

Because in the end everything will just be painful and I'm done with all those shit... I'm done trusting people who will just leave me... im done trusting people when youre to attached to them they will just tell you that they were just using you...

They were just using you because you have something they don't have... they always say I wish I could be in you're shoes right now... since you have this fairy tale like life...

I just wanted to show them all these bruises in my body... I wanted them to know all about my fairy tale like life... a hint about my fairy tale like life... it's very very fun hiding all the pain  and every mask I'm using everyday....

I just wish I could die tomorrow... it would be fun if I get hit by a bus or much more better I get stab In my chest.... or I pass out and won't wake up ever again...

I thought to myself.... with out me noticing a lot of tears has fallen down from my eyes...

My mom cames into my room... she saw me crying...

Y/N's mom: "Are you reading a sad story?" She said and sit on the edge of my bed.

Y/N: "Ummm... yeah... it's very sad" I lied

Y/N's mom: "Well umm.. about.. the slap.... please just follow my orders next time so you won't get hurt ok? "

I  nodded to her and then she leave my room...

I suddenly feel sleepy so I put my book down and shut my eyes close... I did not notice what the time was... but I only felt two hands griping my shoulder and shaking me to wake up...

I looked at the time and it was 8:00 a.m.

Shit I'm late for school. I thought to myself... I hurried myself to get dressed and my mom was waiting outside to drive me to school... I'm going to get in trouble later again.... I thought to myself...

She drive to her work and I ran to my classroom... some of my classmate was in the other room probably gossiping about guys...

I lay my head on my table...

???: "Hey, are you ok?"

I look up to see who it was and I saw Suga was standing in front of me with his friends looking a bit worried.

Y/N: "oh umm... yeah I'm fine ... why?"

Suga: "Well because... you don't usually came late to school ... and second you look a bit pale.."

Guys sorry I'm so Inactive this past few days... My phone won't work and I couldn't remember my password on my pc soo... yeah... but umm... hope you like it..《 °♡°》