My younger brother asked about what depressesion, abuse, and suicidal thoughts are like
Im not gonna tell him, but ill tell you guys since I'm HOPING were all about the same age (or maybe were all just really chubby 20 year olds living in our moms house, maybe.. XD)
Anyway, lets start off with Aboose (trying to make it sound not to bad, but of course that's lying)
ok so take Satan, then take that phrase "the devil is beating his wife" then take my dad as the devil, and me as the wife, except with a father and a son
my dad HATED me, a lot, he would constantly drink and/or smoke, he would barely feed me and REFUSED to let me eat past 8:00 pm, then I would have to spend time... "Getting rid of the calories".. And it would be torture, he also a few times kept me handcuffed to our back porch and made me sleep there, not to mention I got beat... A lot, and constantly told I was hated, which leads into my next topic
Depression, many people believe its just "oh, your just really sad all the time" sadly (get it?) That isn't the case, its like a voice, sometimes not even YOUR voice in your head saying things.. Things like "your not good enough" and thanks to abuse "your father thinks your a mistake, mistakes deserve that as a light punishment"
Notice how I said "light punishment"
A light punishment is what I had FORCED myself to believe is right, I kept telling myself "this isnt what you deserve, its to little" and "your brothers aren't mistakes, their perfect, he doesn't punish them at all, he just merely yells, YOUR the mistake, the one he didn't want, your like a parasite"
But don't worry, I'm not as bad, I'm getting better ^^
