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" Love is not, 'if' or 'because.' Love is 'anyway' and 'Even Though' and 'In Spite Of' "
-unknown

KILLIAN KING

My office was a blinding mess.

Papers littered the floor, my desk drawers were all ripped off and scattered every which way on the floor, picture frames were broken with glass shatters on the floor, the window was punched through and the chair I once sat in was broken into two.

Kade, my wolf, was in a blinding rage. I didn't mean for it to happen but I felt like I was drowning in unexplainable sadness while Kade was a spitball of fueled anger and quite frankly I'd rather be angry then sad so that's when I let him take over. Eyes blood red, Kade punched into the walls creating countless dents that would be no doubt fixed later.

I couldn't feel the pain as Kade smashed a glass picture of the woods my mother had bought for me for my birthday. Blood seeped through my fist but I felt utterly numb at this point. Kade wavered, his stance shaky and unmoving.

"I want him," Kade said aloud.

'I want him too,' I agreed softly.

Kade slammed his fist into the wall, growling in frustration.

"This is all my fucking fault," my wolf ragged.

I didn't know what to say. It was neither his fault nor was it my fault. Our mate was in danger so it was only natural that I shifted to protect Finnick in anyway even if it meant exposing what we were to him. God, it bite at my skin that I let that damned wolf go. The wolf wasn't one of us from his scent but I could tell that he wasn't quite rogue either.

I couldn't even spend time on matters like this which was a duty of mines as Alpha, because Finnick wouldn't leave my mind. I wanted to see him again and hold him and feel his lips on mine. I wanted to hear the sound of his voice and hear his laugh and touch his hair and fuck, I wanted to smell him. He smelt so damn beautiful, he was the best gift I've gotten in all my life.

Out of all the darkness my life has brought me, He was a sunshine that I wanted to keep and protect. When I first saw him he was nothing but at the same time everything I expected for my mate to be. I didn't want him at first, Mood Goddness knows I tried to stay away from and to not let the mate bond or my heart grow any closer to the boy because he was simply too good to be true but the kid just kept worming his way to me and I just couldn't deny the mate bond.

He became my everything in a matter of days and that shit is the scariest thing ever. He became my weakness and I was wrapped around his finger without even realizing what was happening. I couldn't believe the Mood Goddess had given me someone as precious Finnick was to me.

I never wanted a mate and was content in cutting everything off that dare come near me but I just couldn't cut Finnick off no matter how hard I tried. Now I was suffering because I could feel what my mate felt and sadness washed over my whole being.

Kade faded back into me and I was given back control of my body. My hands were bruised up and that's when I felt the pain aswell as the throbbing in my head. I didn't react to the large cuts on my fingers and hand as they'd heal quickly on there own and in days melt away as if it never happened in the first place. I didn't care if I was in pain but at the moment I felt my mate.

I felt how there was anxiety bubbling within him, I felt how there was worry and fear and I felt the sadness. His sadness made it twice as hard for me than anything else. I can't believe I put him through something like this. I can't even imagine how it must've for him when his parents told him that I had come to see him.

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