Basically, this is a book that describes me almost everyday. When ever I'm feeling a certain way I come to this book and fill in another page. Some parts may be a bit cringing, but it's just how I feel. If you don't like it don't read it, and please...
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There's a special friend of mine that I miss very much. Our friendship began when we were talking about a band she was in and I had a couple of name choices for them *smiles at the memory* she loved them all, not sure which one she choose though. Whatever she choose I'm pretty sure it sounds awesome. ^^ *giggles a bit* Then she became my mom, her boyfriend (Brandon) was my dad and Vi (Violet) was my sister (I still think of her as one, I love you sis), yet the funny thing is I'm older than all three of them *laughs and sticks tongue out* na nana nana, hehehe.
But one day we had an argument....and it....didn't end well..... We were both having a depressing moment, and I lashed out like I usually do sometimes when I'm feeling like I'm unwanted, unappreciated and unloved, but this time it was towards her......I didn't mean too, I swear it.... and now I've lost a very good friend.......
Di (Diarne) if you're reading this please......don't go, my world isn't complete without you, it would kill me if you left me left our family...... of all fears that people have loosing people is my main fear I admit it, when I loose someone it breaks my heart and tears me apart and rips my soul to shreds especially if I know it was my fault.....
Di, love, mum, please don't leave or die on me. I swear if you ever think about killing yourself I will take a flight to South Africa and I will find you and hunt you down (I know that sounds creepy but hey). I will not stop until I get to see you in person, and you better be alive when that happens.
1. If I ever catch you cutting yourself I'd slap that knife out of your hand and hug you tightly with you in my lap and me kissing all your scars away.
2. If I catch you standing near a cliff I'd drag you at least a good 20 meters away from the edge then I'd draw or spray paint or do something to create a line/border you could only stand at least 2-5 feet away from it. Any less you would be TOO FRAGGING CLOSE FOR COMFORT, and if you try to run off I'd catch you and drag your ass back and tie you to a chair and superglue it to the fucking ground. I don't care if you can't all the view, you see what you can and deal with it or contact Dr. Doolittle ask him to teach you how to talk to animals and then you can get a pet bird and let it tell you what the view is like, or you can use a thing called the internet and use that instead you see different views around the world.
3. If I catch you trying to hang yourself, I'd cut that rope and have land into my arms before you even have the chance of actually dying.
4. If try drowning yourself I'd drag your ass out that water, and pump the water out of your lungs. Then I'd do The Sushi Roll Technique on you until you feel better.
5. If you try overdosing I'd make you puke up every single drop until it's all out, then I'd feed, cuddle and rock you to sleep.
6. If you try shooting yourself I'd slap that gun out your hand and hold you in my arms letting you know how much I love you.
7. If you try burning your self I'd use the fire instguisher on you (I can't fucking spell), or pour water on you or cloths line you and make you roll all over the floor. I don't care if I up getting burned too it'll be fucking worth it.
If in any of those situations I end up being too late then I'd take my life next to yours, we live together we die together. I won't let you die alone, and that goes for all of my friends all over the country and around the world. I'm using this chapter to let you know how much I love you and how much I care. We've gotta be strong and stand up to the world's cruelty, I'm just letting you know I'm not letting you go through this alone. You mean the world to me, and I'd do anything in my power to make you happy. I love you and always will no matter what always and forever. <3
