Back to Wuthering Heights

Part 1

The rain hit his face and the wind turned his long dark hair into a crazy mass of dancing locks. He couldn't feel any of it, soon the mud trapped his bare feet, darkness growing with every step he took to go nowhere, to go anywhere. The wild wind howling in his ears and a single sound echoing in his brain, a single voice, an echo repeating over and over again: I could NEVER marry him..."Oh, Cathy, why? Tell me why! What right did you...? How could you...?"His messed thinking couldn't overcome the pain, becoming something physical now. Despite the infernal weather, his body couldn't feel a thing. Only his heart was beating as if trying to break apart."¡Heathcliff! ¡Heathcliff!"What was it? Was it actually her voice? Had she come out after him shouting out loud his name? No, it had to be his imagination. Or hell was calling him at last."You'll regret it, Cathy, I swear to God you will. 'Till the day you die you will. I promise."

Dear diary,Where can he be? Where did he go? Will he come back? Oh please, he must come back soon. I need to explain, he must know, he mustn't believe what I said, I can't believe it myself. It was my vanity speaking, damn Nelly didn't shut me up in time. Oh God, my heart's running wild since that day, I'm drowning in the air I breathe in here. I want to go out and look for him and I fear to find him dead on a rock. I wouldn't be surprised if he did some foolish thing, like the one he just did. Running away in the middle of the night, how mad of him, like an untamed wild colt. He didn't think how his flight might harm me, how selfish he can be. And yet... yet... am I not the same selfish in choosing Edgar before him? Oh Lord, will he forgive me? Did I have a choice? Am I a bad person for wanting a better life in Thrushcross Grange? I seek what's best for me, is that a sin? He should do the same and wish my happiness above his own, since he's unable to improve in life. Go, damn it, go! You made me cry and I won't forgive you. I'm sick because of you, I can't sleep awaiting your return, and if I finally fall asleep I bet I'd have that same nightmare again: being in heaven crying for going back to the moors. Yes, let him go, he'd better go! Goodbye, Heathcliff! I wish you good, I hope you can be happy too, with someone who gets to the darkest of your soul, with someone like... me.