Bad Memories

Chapter 1

—Fri. | September 20, 2019—

There's nothing to do anymore. I've already finished my homework, caught up on all of my TV shows, checked social media for new posts from my friends. I'm not tired, meaning I'm probably not napping anytime soon. There's so much that I could do, but not really much of what I want to do. All I'm really doing is staring at my old wooden clock, watching the seconds pass by.

My phone goes off next to me. I grab it and hold it above my face. Tyler's calling me. I slide my finger to the left to answer. "Hello?"

The normal cell tower I use is down, so the nearest one is pretty far, causing the phone to give off some white noise in the call. Luckily, I'm still able to make out what he's saying. "Hey, Kyle! I know you said no already, but I wanted to ask again just in case you changed your mind. You want to come to Asher's party tonight? I promise that there's going to parent supervision at his house."

I shake my head, but it's not like he saw it anyway. "Sorry, Tyler. My answer's still no. Maybe next time."

"That's what you said last time. I know that you like to be alone a lot, especially because of your whole... thing. But Tina and Susie are going to be there too, so we can help you if something happens."

"The thing is, they don't know. You and my grandparents are the only people who do," I say softly.

"Wait a second," Tyler says. "You've never told them?"

"Not yet. It's hard for me to mention in a conversation that I suffer from anxiety." I begin to feel uncomfortable talking about this now. "Can we have this conversation another time? Please?"

"Sure. I have to get ready, anyways. I'll leave you alone for now. See ya."

"Bye." I press end call and place the phone back next to me. I think about what Tyler said about me not telling Tina or Susie yet. He's known for months now, yet the girls don't have a clue about that incident. It makes sense that Tyler was first out of my friends to know. We're all friends, of course, but of the three, he's the one I'm closest with.

I look out my window, noticing a couple of kids from school walking down the street. Somehow, I know that they're heading to the party tonight, since they have a formal-casual style in their clothing. Do I want to go? Of course I do. But if I do, I'm afraid that something will happen, causing my chances of an anxiety attack to go up. After what happened a year ago, I haven't been as social as before. Most of the time, I would walk through the school hallway, head down, holding onto my books and binders tightly.

My grandma knocks on my door before peeking inside. "Kyle, I finished making dinner. Come down to eat, okay?"

"Okay," I tell her.

I follow my grandma downstairs into the dining room. I take my seat while my mom grabs the food. "Here we go," she says. "Rib-eye steak. My specialty dish." The dish smells incredible. Almost instantly, I cut a large piece for myself and begin eating. She calls out to me, "How was your day, Kyle?"

"It was okay. We did a lab in Biology today, and I had a math quiz. Pretty sure I passed both of them."

"That's great. Did you make any new friends today?"

I shake my head. "You ask me this every week. I've already told you. I'm fine with the ones I have."

"What about that club fair that's happening on Monday? Are you planning to go to that?"

"Maybe. The others are planning to go, so I might tag along."

She placed her fork down and wipes the oil off her mouth. "I would like it if you try to find a club to join, okay?"