among the stars / hyungwonho

05

The first few months are the worst. They can't stay in one place but they also can't run as far as they want to. Kihyun's face is everywhere as a wanted defector and Hyungwon wryly thanks him for taking the heat off of him but couldn't he have thought it through a little more?

Close calls are unavoidable.

Once they emergency land on an uncharted planet only to discover the species there covets human flesh as a fine delicacy. Another time they foolishly believe they've found a place so obscure no one will find them and they have to scale down the side of their A.I. building as a malicious government hack sets the whole place on fire.

After that, they stay travelling and while Hoseok sets up one remote shop on Chronos-2, they hardly ever go there except for major repairs. They get good at disappearing while remaining, ghosts to surveillance of all kinds. Hoseok embeds a chip in Kihyun's neck and in his own as well as Hyungwon's, which works as a neutralizer for a good majority of the scanners madly searching for them.

***

In a city that never sleeps, the three wanderers climb the highest tower and hide behind the massive time-face -- an antique of bygone centuries Hoseok explains, typical of institutions accustomed to glorifying themselves. Behind the roman numerals, Kihyun slumps tiredly. Every time he thinks they have moved beyond this aspect of their lives, it resurfaces and maybe it is foolish to believe they could ever be free but Kihyun has a penchant for longshots. A backward glance shows search-lights still scanning the area; a glance to his left shows Hyungwon curled up in a fetal position sleeping.

"What did you do?" Kihyun asks for the first time.

Hoseok blinks, "nothing serious."

Kihyun snorts. It sounds suspiciously like 'yeah right.'

Hoseok lies on his back and stares at the ceiling for a while. He listens to the bustle of the streets below while watching Kihyun out of the corner of his eye. He watches as Kihyun plays around with the bandage on his arm, a reminder of the day's more dangerous endeavours. After narrowly escaping one of their more persistent bounty hunters. A long deep gash on Kihyun's arm will definitely scar, but Kihyun doesn't seem to mind as much as Hoseok does.

"You're creeping me out."

Caught but not surprised, Hoseok shuffles a bit and props himself up with his arms to get a better view of Kihyun, never taking his eyes off of him. Hoseok thinks to himself, thinks about how lucky Kihyun's people were to have him, thinks that if there were more people like him then maybe everything wouldn't have gone to hell. On the other hand, if that was the case then he and Kihyun never would've met.

"Do you miss it?" Hoseok asks and Kihyun sighs.

"Not really. There are some people I'd like to see again but I think I like this better."

***

[ LOG: 23 - Date: 25731.1 - DESTINATION: VENUS]

The camera has some interference before the distortion dissolves and reveals Hyungwon leaning on the back of Hoseok's chair, his chin resting atop it. One of his hands is carelessly resting near Hoseok's elbow. Kihyun is just leaning away from the camera and settling back into his seat. He opens his mouth to say something, then looks at Hoseok who looks at Hyungwon who looks back at Kihyun.

When they burst into laughter it's a sound that belongs in a person's best memories.

By the time they stop laughing, all their eyes are watering and Kihyun is gasping for breath so Hyungwon pats his back (not that this will help) with one hand (the other still held tight by Hyungwon.)

"Jheez," Kihyun wheezes, which just sets Hyungwon off into a new fit of laughter.

The log lasts a good fifteen minutes and change, in total, and for the most part, it's just them laughing.

***

Hoseok didn't know what time he was awoken by the crying coming across the hall coming from Hyungwon's room. Hoseok quietly exits his room and knocks on Hyungwon's door.

"Who's there?" he asks quickly. Hoseok guesses he startled the younger.

"It's just me. I heard you crying and I wanted to make sure you weren't drowning yourself in your own tears."

"My family has been killed and it's my fault."

Hoseok isn't sure how to respond to that so he stands at the base of Hyungwon's door. He listens to Hyungwon's ugly sobs and his heart aches for him. Something inside him tells him to not go inside. Let Hyungwon figure it out by himself and don't get close to him. Don't open up to him.

"I'm going back to-"

"Don't say anything so idiotic like that. Why the hell would you want to go back? So they can kill you too?"

"But I-"

"Listen, kid, we all lost or gave up something. But it's too late to go back now," Hoseok half yelled.

A few seconds later, Hyungwon opened his door. He stood there staring down Hoseom before speaking. "I get it, but I actually care about my family. I started all of this for them so what's the point of living now? They're gone."

"Are you stupid?" Hoseok retorted.

"There's nothing left for me," Hyungwon choked out.

Hoseok, who was now fuming, pushed Hyungwon against the wall with such force. He wasn't sure why he was so mad, he didn't care about Hyungwon. He shouldn't. He can't have feelings for him.

A small yelp escaped Hyungwon's lips as he fell to the ground clutching his shoulder. He began to cry again mumbling words Hoseok couldn't understand.

"Answer me Hyungwon! How stupid are you?" Hoseok yelled.

Hyungwon didn't answer. Couldn't answer. He was so scared of Hoseok that he only cried louder. And it wasn't long before Kihyun was awoken from the noise.

"What the hell is going on?" he asked.

Neither Hyungwon or Hoseok answered, but Kihyun didn't need an explanation. It was obvious what had happened. He quickly crouched down to Hyungwon's side as he shot Hoseok a nasty glare.

As realization hits as for what he had just done, Hoseok sinks to the floor. Kihyun reaches out and places his hand on top of Hoseok's. He feels Hoseok tense under his hand and thinks for an instant that Hoseok is going to pull away, that Hoseok is going to possibly hit him and run away. But then Hoseok slackens, Hoseok swallows audibly, Hoseok averts his gaze, absently rubs against the scar on his own arm and says, "fuck."

"Hey," Kihyun says, rubs wide circles along Hoseok's back, hyper-aware of Hyungwon is still there; still watching.

"Fuck," Hoseok rasps again. Means: I'm sorry. Means: I wasn't thinking. Means: a lot of things.

And Kihyun as good as knows all of that, but what he says, in the end, is, "yeah."