among the stars / hyungwonho

07

This is, what Hoseok thinks is a bad idea, but that doesn't stop him falling for Hyungwon anyway, Hyungwon who, whilst they are under fire, barrels into him without warning and doesn't get up again. Hoseok disposes of their ambushers with what Kihyun categorizes as unnecessary gusto but it's not intentional; it's just that he can't see anything past his fear and his fury until they're all ghosts under his heel. It's over fast but not fast enough and mechanic turned medic, Hoseok thumbs Hyungwon's cheeks under his closed eyes feverishly and whispers, "don't even think about it."

***

It's the first time Hyungwon gets hurt for one of them but not the last. Hoseok bribes an offshore colony doctor to teach him as much as possible in an accelerated 24-hour session (this after seeing to Hyungwon) and grows up more in one day than he has in four years. Even when Hyungwon is out of the woods for survival, Hoseok and Kihyun hover over him in their equivalent to a sick bay, let the ship idle in these forgotten stars and watch him because isn't that what they do now?

Watch out for each other.

***

"But why?" Hyungwon asks him.

They're crowded onto the tiny ragged excuse for a sofa in what equates to a common area in the ship. Hyungwon has his head on Hoseok's thigh and Hoseokhas his fingers in Hyungwon's hair and it's quiet. Kihyun has gone out to pick up some parts Hoseoktasked him with getting and some food Hyungwon wants but was too self-conscious to ask for outright. (Kihyun knows of course because Kihyun notices these things whether Hyungwon speaks about them or not; and if Kihyun misses something, Hoseok catches it.) To conserve energy the lights are dim and as is often the case with space travel, time is a loose concept. Hyungwon fades in and out of half-wakefulness, turns and presses his face until it's close to Hoseok's stomach and they aren't more than this.

They aren't.

But Hoseok catches himself halfway through leaning down to kiss Hyungwon good night, catches and stops himself, lets his voice hush across Hyungwon's forehead instead, says,

"go to sleep."

***

Anchored near a planet whose distant surface gives the impression of crystals, Kihyun and Hoseok sit and watch. Hoseok is in Kihyun's chair (his back hurts after working on repairs for so long that day) and Kihyunis on the floor leaning back against it, Hoseok's knees brushing his shoulders. They used to spend nights like this quite often and while it's less so now, it's still strangely nice. They are waiting for Hyungwon who, for the first time in over a year, made a request, asked to stop here. After doing a background check on the planet that would shame the actual government, Hoseok had said yes and Kihyunhad agreed and so here they are; waiting.

"What do you think he's here for?" Hoseok asks, low voice grasping in a way Kihyun is sure it's never been before.

"Dunno." a pause. "My guess would be...someone. Though."

The hum that settles deep in Hoseok's chest is agreement.

"It's been a year, and you're going to have to tell him someday."

Hoseok makes to shove Kihyun off but Kihyun is surprisingly strong for all his long long limbs and soft stature. He stays put. Hoseok sighs.

"I don't want..." he scowls at the empty chair that is usually occupied by Hyungwon. Kihyun waits. "... I don't want it to be weird."

"And?"

Reaching out, Hoseok carefully opens the music box he keeps on the dashboard and says, "what if he leaves?"

The way Kihyun angles his head, it puts him at a low enough position to peer up at Hoseok as he says, "Then he leaves. but one I don't think he will and two."

"Two?" Hoseok stares back.

"Doesn't he deserve to know anyway?"

Cradling the wooden box, Hoseok traces the lid's engravings over and over.

***

Across a frozen river, Hyungwon walks carefully because he promised to be careful. Through a frozen forest Hyngwon is respectful because that is what is right. At the foot of a frozen mountain, he kneels down where hundreds and hundreds of flowers grow. In fact, the closer one looks, the more one sees and it becomes apparent the mountain is not covered in snow but these white cold stars, their roots have taken so deeply into their planet that to remove them would be a crime. Hyungwon's breath hangs in the air, cloud after cloud while he takes his time, gathers any freely fallen petals until he has a sizable container of them. Out here, where everything seems coated in the obliterating white of winter, they are stark and yet also disappear. By the time he's done his hands are red and numb but it's worth it.

***

Stardrops are flowers for hope. They were once known as snowdrops and signified spring. Now they grow on a planet made only of winter. Hyungwon's brother told him stories about this flower when they were so much younger -- stories about how snowdrops were said to have curative properties not for things like flu or fever but colder, darker things -- sadness, loneliness, fear. He knows it's not true but the stories stay with him and for that he's grateful. Hyungwon ends up affixing the petals into the starry sky of his bedroom, and Kihyun tells him it's beautiful.

He has some leftover but doesn't want to waste them, so keeps them carefully stored in a small bowl beneath his bed.

***

[ LOG: 49 - Date: 25745.1 - DESTINATION: CHRONOS-2]

The video log opens on Kihyun who bows his head as usual then sighs.

"One, two--"

Hurried shuffling precedes Hyungwon hurtling into the frame, catching himself on the back of Kihyun's chair; but he's built up so much momentum that he almost goes right over it, and would if not for the hand that pulls back at his shoulder.

"I told you not to run," Hoseok voice can be heard though it takes a second for him to step around into view and settle into his own seat. Hyungwon stays sort of leaning on Kihyun's chair.

"Nice of you guys to join me," Kihyun says but there's no real criticism there so much as amusement.

Hyungwon blushes. Hoseok looks away.

"Anyway. This log is one shy of Fifty. Can you believe it?"

"Who's going to watch fifty logs of us talking about where we're going?"

"I watch them," Hyungwon's voice makes them both turn their heads and he tugs at the string that pulls the hood over his head a little closer. "er," he laughs, soft. " I mean I watched your old ones. From before."

Before you met me.

It's Kihyun's turn to blush a little and Hoseok thinks this whole crew is ridiculous, but he has no room to say so when his own ears are burning.

"You're like an old married couple," Hyungwon says.

Hoseok reaches to turn off the camera but doesn't manage to do so before the recording catches Kihyun mumbling,

"We're not the ones who are actually married."

an: i think this story is slowly coming to an end, probably no more than 10 chapters. please vote if you enjoyed it, thanks!