Merlin one shots

Moving on

Merlin was lying in his bed, trying to empty his thought. Arthur had, with no explanation, given him the afternoon off. He heard on knock on the door of his room. His immediate thought was that it was Gaius. Hard habit to break. "Hello?"
"May I come in?"
"I'll come out. Who is it?" Merlin pushed the door open, frowning. One of the palace maids was stood in front of him, holding a large bowl of fruit.
"Compliments of the king." Merlin took the bowl.
"Thank you?" She curtsied, and promptly left. Merlin went to put the bowl down on the table, moving some of Gaius' old papers. He shivered, wiping a tear from his eye.

"Merlin. Good afternoon." Merlin entered Arthur's chambers.
"Good evening sire. I came to thank you for the fruit basket. It was very kind."
"You're very welcome." Merlin smiled awkwardly.
"But I was just wondering. Why?" Arthur froze.
“You've been rather down for the past few days." Arthur tapped his fingers on the desk. "You've looked rather tired. Would you like more time off?"
"I'm perfectly well," Merlin replied, smartly.
"Well I thought, you're still staying in your old rooms. I feel its making it hard for you to let go." Merlin nodded.
"Yes."
"I'll have you moved somewhere else?" Merlin nodded silently, looking at his feet. "I'll leave them as they are."
"No. I need to move on. I'll clear them out."
"I can find someone to do it. Take as much time as you need off." Arthur put a hand on Merlin's shoulder. "And in the meantime, how do the rooms next door sound?"
"Very nice, sire. Thank you."
"Whatever you need, Merlin. I'll have the staff told you are to be treated as a guest. And I'm always here. If you want to talk." Merlin nodded, brushing a strand of hair from his forehead.
"I'll just go and fetch my things."

Merlin picked up a basket from the table, bundling his clothes into it carelessly. He picked up one of Gaius' books, fingers ghosting the cover for a second. He sat down, biting his lip and trying not to cry. Nevertheless, tears came, and Merlin was sobbing on the floor, tears dripping onto the dusty tiles. He missed Gaius’ croaky old voice, sending him about with medicines and poultices of all sorts. He missed Thursdays, when they would collect pots from the lower town together. It had been almost three weeks now, Merlin told himself. But he couldn't get over it.

"Hey, hey," Arthur cooed, wrapping an arm around Merlin's shoulders. "You're shivering. Are you cold?" Merlin nodded, Arthur already taking off his cape and draping it around Merlin's shoulders. Arthur sat down on the floor, huddling up next to Merlin, stroking his hair. "We all miss him." Merlin sniffed.
"I know."
"Come on. Let's get out of here. Are these your things?" Arthur pointed  to the basket. Merlin nodded weakly, letting Arthur pull him to his feet. "Let's go."

Arthur sat Merlin down on the bed, smiling. "I'll fetch something warmer for you to wear," Arthur said gently, darting out of the room and returning a minute later with a woollen jumper. He slipped it over Merlin's shoulders, wiping Merlin's face with the sleeve of his jacket. “Are you comfortable?” Merlin nodded feebly, the tears now coming to an end. “Are you hungry?”
“Yes.”
“Come on. Come into my rooms, I've got plenty of food.” Arthur helped Merlin to his feet, putting an arm around him. They left the room, Arthur opening the door to the one next door. He helped Merlin to sit down, wrapping another blanket around him. “When did you last eat?” Merlin shrugged.
“A few days.”
“Go on then.” Arthur gestured to the table, which was piled high with food. “I'm worried about you.”
“I can tell.” Arthur handed Merlin a plate, sliding a plate of chicken over to him.
“Eat as much as you can.” Merlin nodded.
“Thank you.” Arthur just nodded nobly, taking a bite of some bread.

Merlin lay in his bed, shivering. He couldn't get comfortable. It was all so unfamiliar and strange. He could use magic to help himself sleep, but he hadn't used it since Gaius died. It didn't seem right to use it now. He stood up, dizzy, and walked to the door, stumbling into Arthur's quarters. “Who's there?” Arthur snapped awake. Merlin gasped, beginning to shake.
“Me. Merlin.”
“Merlin.” Arthur sighed with relief. “Are you alright?” Merlin shook his head.
“I can't sleep.”
“Me neither.” Merlin gulped. “Do you want to get in with me?” Merlin nodded, walking over to Arthur's bed. Arthur folded back the covers, Merlin climbing in next to him. “Gods, you're freezing Merlin,” Arthur exclaimed.
“Sorry.” Arthur wrapped an arm around Merlin, warming him up.
“Do you want to talk?” Merlin shook his head. “That's alright. Are you alright if I talk?”
“Yes.” Arthur took a deep breath.
“Gaius was more of a father to me than Uther ever was. He would, hold me, sing me songs to help me sleep. When I would cut my knee fooling around as a young boy, Gaius was always there, ready with a bandage.” Arthur smiled. “He would tell me stories too. About the days of the old religion. Before father found out. He got in trouble for that.” Merlin shuffled closer to Arthur. “But I really miss him, Merlin. I do, but I can't show it.” Arthur sniffed, tears forming in his eyes.
“Are you crying?”
“Yes.” Arthur kissed the back of Merlin's head. “Yes I am crying.” Merlin rolled over to look at him.
“Are you alright?”
“No. But that's just how it is.”
“Yes. It is.”
“I'll be alright eventually. And so will you.”
“It doesn't feel like it.”
“I know it doesn't. But it's true.” Arthur kissed Merlin softly on his lips. “You'll be alright.” Merlin nodded, kissing Arthur back.