hiraeth | lisoo

16

Jisoo can't stop fidgeting. 

When Irene told her the news, she wanted to go leave right away but now that they're in front of Jennie's unit, she was a nervous wreck.

A few more seconds and the door opened, revealing her best friend. 

Jennie greeted Irene and flitted her sight to Jisoo who was a step behind, not sure if it's alright to look at her best friend.

She tried showing a hint of smile and waving her hand, which Jennie acknowledged with a tight-lipped smile and a nod. She invited them in and made their way over to the living room.

And there she was, the girl she missed most, sitting at the sofa chair by the window. Lisa stood up as soon as she saw them come closer.

Jisoo's feet absentmindedly took her to Lisa without any hesitation, as if she was automatically drawn to her the moment she saw her.

They were inches apart and she was about to pull her into an embrace when Irene tugged at her sleeve, making her stop. 

She looked at her sister with a pained and confused expression, also flitting her eyes at her friends and back to Lisa, who was also wearing a frown.

"It's okay." Lisa glanced at Irene, to which she nodded and let go of Jisoo's coat. 

The girl didn't waste time and attached herself to Lisa, hugging her tightly, resting her face by her shoulder. Lisa hugged her back with great longing.

She could feel Jisoo's body shake in her arms.

"I missed you. I'm so sorry." The girl kept apologizing over and over again. Lisa broke their embrace and made her look at her, wiping the tears that escape her eyes. She held her face and gave a soft kiss on her forehead.

"Let's start." Irene spoke and guided Jisoo to sit at the sofa chair across of Lisa's. The other three settled themselves at the sofa.

"Jisoo, you were gonna tell them something, right?" She looked at Irene and nodded, cautiously studying her friends and Lisa.

"I want to apologize to all of you for acting the way I did." She paused, breathing deeply as she felt all eyes on her. "I don't have a valid reason that would make up to that."

"I'm sorry you had to see the monster in me..." She looked down at her hands, smiling bitterly at the fact that her inner demons have been revealed after being suppressed for so long.

"Especially to you, Lisa. You didn't deserve any of the bad things I did to you."

She dared to look at her once again, to express her sincerest apologies and regret. Lisa froze in her seat.

"I don't expect you to forgive me, but please know that I'm sincere and I'll do anything to fix everything. I'll make it up to you."

"You can't." It was loud enough for everyone to hear and everyone's eyes were all on Lisa, surprised at what she said.

"What do you mean?"

Lisa looked back at her girlfriend. Jisoo couldn't read her expression.

"You shouldn't do things for me. You shouldn't do it to fix us when you're broken yourself." Lisa heaved a deep sigh, shaking her head. "I can't let you do that."

She couldn't understand. What was she supposed to do?

Irene watched her as she pressed her temple and bit at her finger. Jisoo only does that when she's awfully distressed, which she saw a lot of times when they were young. 

Jisoo looked at her.

"What do I do?" Irene observed as she glanced at everyone.

Jennie and Rosie were clueless and helpless. They didn't know what was running inside Lisa's mind. It was hard to watch them, especially Jisoo. 

Jennie's never seen her best friend act like this. The incident that happened at the amusement park when they were young was almost too vague for her. She never knew what happened after Jisoo ran away and Irene had to usher her back inside the restaurant, to be with the adults. 

It took long before Jennie saw Jisoo again after that, but when she did, Jisoo seemed different and distant for the longest time until she was okay again, as they said. But she never thought her best friend was fully okay or back since then. She put the idea at the back of her mind.

She watched what was unraveling before her and it was a bit frustrating and scary for her. It almost seemed like Jisoo is losing her mind. 

They were startled when the girl stood up and made her way to her girlfriend. Jisoo knelt in front of her, making everyone caught of guard. Lisa glanced at them and made it clear that it was okay. She looked back at Jisoo.

"Please tell me what to do. Please help me." She begged, holding both of Lisa's hands close.

It hurt Lisa to see Jisoo like this but she had to stand her ground. She glanced back at Irene and saw her nod. They had their conversation about Jisoo's situation and she decided what to do.

She tucked the stray hair behind Jisoo's ear, with the girl leaning towards her touch. She took a deep breath while Jisoo waited for her to speak.

"You have to go to rehab, babe."

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A/N: I know I said I'll update back to Wednesdays and Sundays but I think I won't be able to go online tomorrow so here it is. I wanna know what you think. Comments?