The modern adolescent

chapter 3

It had been long week, from my dad's death to my mom's relationship with Steven and to make it worse school. My depression was getting way out of control after last week's incident and as if I hadn't had enough of the Daily Dose of drama, my mom announced that she and Steven were already engaged and planned on getting married in the next six months. It was way too much for me to bear but I couldn't say anything to her, I wanted to be happy for her but I couldn't, I just couldn't. I tried my best to smile during dinner time when Steven came to our house occasionally but I knew that I was dying on the inside.

I was hurt, annoyed and angry at the world for everything I passed through. Steven was going to be my step dad and a part of me cursed god for bringing me into the world to suffer every single day.

It was Monday, another day of torture as I woke up with a sharp pain in my chest and I cursed the world again as I stood up from the bed to have my bath. I have been having chest pains for a while now, two days after dad's death and it became worse. I looked at the mirror and sighed, I was a terrible sight to behold and I always wondered if I was truly a result of my mom's "one night stands" according to my dad. I wondered if mom ever felt ashamed of me because of my looks.

Not that looks mattered that much to me but I was curious because my mom and dad were pretty good looking and I was just a piece of shit that no one would even look at not to talk about being friends with. I sighed again as I entered the bathroom. I wasn't feeling too good today, or any other day and I just sighed again when I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror. Why do we have so many mirrors in this house?. After five minutes, I came out of the bathroom and jumped on the bed, the thought of how I was going to deal with people staring at me in school was just too much for me to bear.

After the incident, the news spread like wild fire everywhere in town obviously my classmates heard about it and that was the reason why I didn't go to school for the past four days. I didn't need anyone's pity and I knew some people would make fun of me because of the incident, some might even call me a murderer and some might insult my mom of being a slut. The pain was too much for me to bear and I covered myself with a blanket as I stared at the ceiling.

A knock on the door pulled me out of my thoughts.

"honey! You ain't going to school today? " my mom asked as she reached out for my hand which I gently tossed aside.

"I don't feel so good mom" I answered softly.

She didn't look convinced "you're hiding something from me and I know it"

"mom-" I started to say but she cut me off

"look at me!" she paused and put her hand on my chin. "I am your mother and I definitely know that something's wrong somewhere. Nowadays you don't even smile anymore, you don't talk unless you're been asked a question and you don't eat. What's wrong with you dear? You know you can tell me anything" she leaned forward and looked me in the eye " please talk to me for goodness sake!"

I scoffed "now you really want to start acting like a mom right? "

"what is that supposed to mean? " she questioned.

"all my life you and dad never got along, you guys practically cheated on each other, you made my life hell every day. You never paid any attention to me. It was always your dad did this, your dad did that, do you even know how I felt watching the both of you fight all day? " I paused and took a deep breath then continued " then hearing that my dad was a murderer, didn't you stop to think that was just too much to bear? Even when you guys weren't on good terms you still actually had an affair with your bodyguard, how did you expect me to feel? Then last week's incident, you think I've gotten over it yet?  No I haven't! And then the icing on the freaking cake, you and Steven are already engaged. Bloody hell! I don't even know what to say. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" it felt good to say that out loud.