The modern adolescent

chapter 4

"Kelly can you help me with this?" I could hear my mom's screams from my room.  It's been two days since we moved to California and we were not done yet with unpacking out things.

So far I haven't seen Steven's face and I was happy that he kept his word and didn't move in with us. I wasn't that relieved when I heard he was coming over. It was like a part of me just died or varnished away whenever I heard his name.  To me he was like a stain in my mother's life and I wanted to get rid of him so much.

"Kelly! Come downstairs this instant!" her voice pulled me out of my thoughts and I walked downstairs, it was more of a run.

"what again mom?" I questioned, I was so sick of her calling my name like I was her family or like she knew me or something. She still thought I have forgiven her for everything she had done to me. Oh please!

"would you please help me take this bags to my room?" she pleaded and I noticed that two other bags didn't belong to her. I was displeased because I knew who they belonged to.  Steven! That delusional bastard!

I cursed under my breath as I carried her bags upstairs, Steven was on my mind throughout. When we last met, he had promised me that he won't come anywhere near our house but now I felt he had other things planned.  After I dropped her bags, I went straight to my room and started unpacking. My room was big enough with a king sized bed, my walls were painted black because I felt that was how dark my life was. I placed a frame of my dad and I on a table beside my bed.  I knew I was supposed to hate my dad for everything he did to me and my mom but part of me knew that my mom was the cause of everything. I felt like she brought out the worst in him.

After carefully packing my things, I took a quick shower and brushed my teeth, it was two in the afternoon but I still wanted to be clean, I always felt dirty all the time and I didn't know why. I sat in front of my mirror and blow dried my hair and tied it up in a bun.  Ever since we moved here I felt like I was dirt, my low self esteem really displayed in me and whenever I saw girls with makeup, good looking clothes and their boyfriends with them I felt more miserable than ever.

I've never had a boyfriend which meant I have never kissed anyone nor broken my virginity.  Blame it all on my bad looks and my family background. I told myself that it doesn't matter whether I have a boyfriend or not but I felt I was deceiving myself all the time because no one ever showed me affection for a second.

I brought out my laptop from my bag and decided to watch a movie_a romantic movie to be exact because that was a way to escape reality and become lost in a world full of love and happiness. It wasn't working. What the actual fuck! I then remembered that it was one of the items my dad broke when he and my mom were arguing. I had forgotten my laptop in the dining room when I was watching a romance movie and then I realised that I had to go to school that day.  I threw the laptop on the floor out of frustration and I slammed myself on my bed and then I started feeling drowsy all of a sudden.

"I have told you countless times that you can't escape me" he chuckled as he touched my left cheek.

"why am I here again and what the hell do you want?" I spat and hissed. This has got to stop happening to me.

He looked into my eyes and I felt hypnotised "what is your greatest desire Kelly?" he questioned, his eyes filled with lust, I could spot out a lustful person anywhere.

Why am I here again?

Oh right! I think I'm about to die again.

"what is your greatest desire Kelly" he questioned again " I know what you've been going through, the horrors you've faced, I know everything about you. Your family, the fact that your parents cheated on each other, and I know that you're sad because the guy you liked told you off. He said he doesn't like you, he called you a piece of shit!. I know everything Kelly and that means I know your greatest desire"  he said as his lips came closer to my face.