Jessica
"But I need them, Jordan." I replied gruffly.
"Fine, fine. Don't say another fucking word about it. Now, come here." He bends his finger, signaling for me to take the two steps over to him. I swallow hard, not quite used to his little 'role play ' that he likes to do at least twice a week.
Jordan puts his hands on my waist, and it takes everything in me to act like I'm not totally terrified and disgusted. I miss Ethan terribly. I miss being in his arms, feeling his lips on mine, breathing in the scent of his aftershave, and even making love to him. My heart aches for every aspect of our relationship, and it's hard not to tremble in my adductor's grasp.
Finally, Jordan leans in and roughly puts his lips on mine, and his tongue begs for me to open my mouth. I squeeze my lips shut for a moment, but I'm forced to let him in. He throws me onto the bed, and I crawl back a little before he completely takes control of me, and I'm helpless underneath him.
Once he's satisfied, I watch Jordan tug his clothes back on and leave the shed, locking the door with what sounds to be some kind of code. This isn't the first time he's used me for his pleasure since he took me, but every time, I feel like I'm betraying Ethan, and I feel like I have to take a shower so hot that it nearly burns my skin off. Jordan rarely lets me do any bathing of any kind. I know that my period is supposed to be coming, but I have no tampons or pads, and I don't even know if he's going to be kind enough to get me any. There's a calendar in here, and I've been marking the days by putting x's on them with a crappy red marker that I found.
I was taken on May 3rd, and today is June 7th. I'm going absolutely crazy. Suddenly, there was a sound of the metal door being unlocked. He never comes back. I turn away from the calendar quickly, tugging on my tank top, and wait on the bed.
"Here." Jordan's voice is rough, and there's a box of tampons thrown into the center of the room. Thank God. Slowly, I make my way over to them, picking the box up in my fingers.
"Thank you, Jordan."
"Yeah, whatever. Don't give me anymore of that whiny shit, ya hear?"
"Yes. Thank you." I nod my head, and then he's gone again. I lower myself until my butt is touching the wooden floor, and my panties aren't very thick. I look around, seeing all the 'artwork' I've made since being here. Really, it's just my writing and drawing with the red marker on pieces of paper that he gave me. This Wednesday, he came back from town with two coloring books, and a box of crayons for me. I was confused, but didn't say a word about it. I'm using the books slowly, coloring maybe two pictures a day to keep myself busy.
I wonder what the kids are up to at this very moment. I have no track of time, so for weeks, all I've been doing is looking out the window and seeing the sun come up and then go down again. I've also been cautiously planning my escape, but it hasn't been easy.
I wonder what Ethan is doing. I hope he's feeling better from his accident. I wonder if he's alerted the cops that I'm missing. My family? His family? Do they even know that I haven't come home? Are the kids asking questions? Poor Ethan. I hope he has Grayson to help.
After what I assume is about twenty minutes, I get up and slip my panties off, and turn the pale blue sink on. I run hot water, scrubbing the fabric with only that to wash them out the best I can. There's a small clothing line in the corner, and Jordan's provided me with clothes pins to hang my clothes to dry.
It disgusts me that he's had all of this ready for his...victim. Which so happened to be me. The thought makes my head hurt, so I lay in the bed with nothing but a tank top on, covering myself with the blue comforter. It smells of smoke and the outside.
I stare at the dark wall in front of me as I lay on my side, blinking a few times before I start to cry. I try to imagine that my husband is next to me, wrapping his arms around me. In my mind, we're in bed together, his strong arms around me, and I roll over to take his soft lips on mine. I smile at the fantasy. When I open my eyes, I'm met with an empty, dark, cold room. I curl myself up in the bed, feeling like a frightened little girl who has been punished for no reason at all.
