Ethan
For two months, my heart has been empty. Two months that I haven't been able to feel my wife's skin on mine. It's early July, and the kids have been out of school for quite sometime. Grayson has practically moved into the guest bedroom, and he insists that he's fine with it.
Jess' name and face have been on the news multiple times, the reporters alerting everyone to keep their eyes and ears open for her. I've refused to give any kind of statement to let them use. The kids are really starting to worry and ask me questions. I have no idea what to tell them. Gray usually comes to save the day, and distracts them anyway.
Today, I'm actually going into work, and I'm not excited about it. I don't want hear anything from anyone about how sorry they are, and they've no doubt all seen the news by now. The thought makes me freeze up, and I'm just sitting in my pickup, not willing myself to back it out of the garage.
"Aren't you gonna be late?" Gray taps on the window, snapping me from my thoughts. I look at him and nod, shifting the truck into reverse.
"Hey, Ethan, I'm so sorry."
"You and the kids must be heartbroken."
"Do you need any help?"
"Are you having any trouble with meals? I can help."
All of this is getting thrown as me as I'm walking through the office building, and I'm anticipating getting to my own office and shutting the door, allowing myself some peace. Before I can get into the elevator, my boss stops me.
"Ethan, what are you doing here? You should be at home-"
"Ann, I still need to support my kids and wife, even if...." I trail off, looking into the distance over her shoulder. Suddenly, Ann puts her hand on my arm, giving me a sympathetic look that I feel like she's rehearsed.
"Are you at least getting help?"
"Yes, I am. My brother has been staying with us. Actually, he's picking up the kids today, so I'll be here all day." I stand tall, holding my chin a little higher to convince her. Ann looks to the floor before looking back at me, and her eyes seem to be glazed with tears. Since I got this job, only a few months before Jess and I got married, Ann has been to our house for dinner, and actually gone out with Jess on multiple occasions. I'm sure she's hurting, too.
"That's...that's good. Just take your time, and if you need to leave...if it gets too much for you...just go anytime."
"Thank you, Ann. I really appreciate it." I give her a warm smile and a little hug before stepping into the elevator, and I watch the numbers go up until they reach the floor that I work on.
As soon as I get into my office, I'm greeted with a picture of my wife, smiling on our wedding day. I fall to my knees on the floor, staring at the photo before a tear rolls down my cheek. Then another, then another....until it becomes sobs.
"Why, God? Why did you let this happen? What did we do that was so wrong? Jess doesn't deserve this, and neither do the kids. Please, help me....help me figure all of this out. I can't do it alone." I cry, looking up at the ceiling. After a few minutes of sitting on the floor, I get up and go over to my chair, sitting in it. I wipe my eyes with my shirt and I have to put the picture facedown on the desk in order to actually focus. It hurts like hell.
"So, kiddos, what did we learn at school today?" I ask at dinner. I got home just in time, and Grayson had been setting salad on the table.
"I can count to thirty five." Katherine beams, shoving lettuce into her mouth.
"That's great pumpkin," Then I turn to the boys who are mumbling to each other about God knows what.
"What about you two?" The both of them shrugged.
"Come on, you had to have learned something-"
"We want Mom back." Teagan blurts, staring at his plate in front of him. My expression and tone soften.
"I know...we all do. We'll get her back, I promise."
