my jewel ; junhao

t h r e e ; jun

    I really can't stop smiling. From when I leave his dorm all the way to when I reach my own. I must've looked like a psycho, but how could I not be so extremely happy? Imagine being with someone so often that you fall so, so desperately in love with them only to be separated from them. Then, after what feels like an eternity, you spend time with each other again and damn, you forgot how fucking good it feels to just hear them talk. How good it feels to see them laugh and smile. How good it feels to see them blush and joke and do literally anything because anything they do is just so damn perfect. Imagine all of that and try not to feel happy.

    I couldn't sleep most of the night because I was just so happy, but that didn't really matter. I walk to school, the smile still printed on my face. A few girls stop me along the way, asking what I'm so happy about. On any other day I'd say something cheesy like 'just happy to see you.' Today isn't one of those days. Right before I'm able to enter his classroom my friend, Seokmin, stops me.

    "You look like a mental patient," he says right off the bat. I forgot he had the same homeroom as Minghao. "Did something really good happen?"

    "Yeah . . . you know how you can tell who someone's soulmate is just by touching them?" I ask as we enter. It's considered rude to ask a Jewel Reader to tell you out of nowhere, but I need to know. "Can you, uh, do that with me?"

    He looks a bit shocked by my question. I never showed much interest in soulmates and all that so I can see why he was caught off guard. He sighs, "I don't think that's a good idea, Jun. You should just let stuff like this play out."

I nod even though I feel a bit disappointed. The negative feeling quickly fades as I spot him. My face beams as I almost run up to him, shuffling through the other students in his classroom. "Hey," I say, trying to act casual.

Minghao is the type of person to get easily startled and jumps at my sudden voice. "Hey . . ." he says as though he's confused by my presence.

"I just wanted to say hi and ask when we should have our next session." He tilts his head, an action similar to a cat. "I just thought that since it was so much fun yesterday we could do it again soon? Unless you didn't have a very good time?"

"No, I did! I had a lot of fun!" he explains hurriedly. "How about we talk about it later," he says while looking around at his classmates. I finally realize how many weird looks we're receiving. He must be embarrassed.

"Sorry. Now isn't a good time, huh? It's okay, you can forget about it." I've always struggled with hiding my emotions.

Only a few seconds after I leave his classroom I feel a strong tug on my wrist. I turn around to see Minghao with . . . an annoyed face? I rarely ever saw him with any anger in his face. "Don't just walk away like an abandoned cat. You didn't even let me finish. I was gonna say that we should meet during lunch before you got all sad." He seems . . . a lot more feisty than he was before. I like it.

My smile grows back, though this time there's more than a hint of mischief accompanying it. "Sorry, I should've let you continue. That sounds like a good plan; we can eat and hang out, preferably with no one else around?" I smirk. His face turns beet red, but the annoyed look stays firmly. As though perfectly on cue the bell rings. "See you later Hao."

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I walk to the stairs that lead to the third floor, where the juniors are. I don't know why Minghao wanted to meet here for lunch since it's quite far from the cafeteria, but I don't mind. At least I get to talk to him.

    I pick a spot to sit down, dusting it off with my hand before sitting, and start eating my lunch as I wait for Minghao. I don't even feel hungry. I have a stomachache for no reason and my hands are drenched in sweat. My mind buzzes with anxiety, and I almost think he isn't coming.

    Just as I'm about to leave I feel Minghao sit next to me, already unpacking his homemade lunch. I know his mom makes him his lunch everyday even though he doesn't live with her. I asked him once before why he chose to live in the dorms even though he and his mother moved to South Korea together.

I remember him telling me that his mother wanted him to be independent. "It doesn't make much sense to me," he had said. "I mean, if she really wanted me to be independent wouldn't she have just stayed in China and made me come here by myself? I'm grateful for all she's done, of course I am, but I feel bad."

I remember watching his face turn from a bit annoyed to guilty. "Why should she have to do all these things for only me to be happy? Making a lunch for me and then driving an hour up here just to give it to me every single day . . . I wonder how exhausted she must really be." I decided it'd be better to not mention his mother again.

"Sorry I made you come here after getting your lunch," he says out of nowhere. "I guess I was just thinking about myself since I'm already on this floor and my mom makes my lunch for me. We should meet in the cafeteria next time." He starts eating one of his dumplings and I don't even realize I'm drooling until he laughs at it.

We joke and talk and just hang out with each other for the rest of lunch. It feels like no time at all when the bell rings, telling the students that lunch is over wether or not they've finished eating. "Already?" I mumble trying to make sure Minghao can't hear me.

"It's okay. We'll have all the time we want when you come over to my dorm tonight, right?" he said nonchalantly while packing up his lunch.

    "What?" I asked confused. He never said anything about me going to his dorm, did he? Even through my confusion you can tell I'm overwhelmingly happy and excited.

    "You don't wanna?" He says it like he's a betrayed puppy. "It's just . . . I had something important to tell you."

    "Can't you just tell me now?" I'm getting anxious. I hate not knowing.

    "I know you really don't like it when you don't know about things, but I wanna tell you in a special way," he says without looking at me. People are starting to walk up the stairs, passing by us as though they couldn't care less about our conversation. Even though they clearly aren't paying attention to us Minghao's blush grows more evident.

    "J-just . . . come to my dorm an hour after school ends. Please. It's important." With that he walks away to his classroom, almost running.

    I don't know how long I just stand there, probably looking like an idiot. It isn't until Mingyu shakes me and practically screams in my ear that I snap out of my daze. "What's wrong with you? Did something happen with Hao?"

    "Yeah . . . I think I'm fucked."

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im sorry this is so late and trashy.. i haven't been feeling that great about my writing lately. uhhh if you actually liked this chapter thanks?? cause it seems like literal trash to me