Dawn Will Come (SWAF Sequel)

Return

Sarah felt sick when she woke up. 

Her breathing was heavy, and she felt like she could not get enough air no matter how deep the breath she took. Her hands were shaking, and she could tell tears were streaming down her face. 

She had remembered one thing from her dream, one thing that returned from her past. Remembered that there had been blood - so much blood - in her past. She could hear a voice telling her not to look, but she saw it, saw so so much blood. 

She was vaguely aware of someone taking her hand while there were voices, so many or perhaps just one she could not tell. 

Breathe. Breathe. 

She could not bring in air, and she wished Elda were there. Elda knew what to do to soothe her. Elda made her a special drink. 

There was suddenly a glass in her hand, and she took it. Drinking it slowly, she felt her breathing calm down and could see that besides for Queen Susan and Mara, there was Ell beside her and he was the one who had given her the drink. It was not the same as Elda's but it soothed her nonetheless. 

"Are you alright, sweetheart?" Susan asked, her eyes glancing over to the crib where Rilian lay and back at her face. Sarah knew she was afraid for her, but that her fear was greater for what was making her son sick. 

Was she alright? Was she ever truly going to be alright? She did not know what horrors had been in her past, but they seemed to creep closer each night, seemed to be coming for her. She knew they thought her mother might be returning, was not clueless to the whispers of the grownups around her.  Was this why this was happening? Or was it just that her past had been brought up in this past day more often that Elda ever spoke of it?

Not wanting to worry the queen, she nodded and did what she did best. Act brave, as if nothing around her could hurt. "Bad dream. It was just a bad dream."

She could tell the queen did not believe her but did not want to push her into sharing. That was one thing she was thankful for, that the queen did not try to pry. 

"If you need anything, please let me know." Ell spoke to her then, and she did not want to lie to someone she remembered from her earliest memories after being left by her mother. But she did not want to tell him what she needed was answers, that she needed the truth. She knew they would never tell her, knew she was 'too young' to know the realities of her past. 

But if they plagued her, should she not know?

"I'll be okay, but thank you. "

She would be okay, eventually. 

Hopefully. 

---

Helen felt a heavy weight on her chest as the palace came into view. Her eldest children were waiting there with her grandchildren. It was a return for those with her, but a new start for her. She was not going to journey out again, but rather remain with her eldest children while Lucy and Edmund set off to continue their original mission. 

She had been putting on a brave face for her youngest two and her son-in-law, though in truth she still did not know how to handle this change. Seeing her children grown up, seeing them alive and well after thinking... well, she had feared the worst at times. Now that her joy at seeing them and the shock of it all had worn off, she was growing more and more uncertain of her role now. She had raised these adults before her, held them as infants and nursed them at her breast, but even though they were her children at times they felt strangers. Edmund's voice was deeper than she was used to and it still took her far longer than she would care to admit to realize it was him talking when he spoke. When she saw Lucy, it was easier to see the girl she had once been than to think of her as a woman grown who caught the eye of many men on the ship.