Dawn Will Come (SWAF Sequel)

Reality

Susan was thankful when the war council ended, feeling beyond strained from the stress of the knowledge that her family was still being targeted. They had a plan in motion, added guards and more patrols, and also had more spies reaching out in the neighboring countries who swore to help them. Lucy had seemed to not trust someone there, however, - she knew the code that she and Edmund had well enough to see that - and that added a layer of fear to her already amounting ones. If they could not trust their allies, then who could they trust?

Rilian needed her - she needed to know he was still alright and that he had not lapsed back into the magical aliment- and she wanted to get back to the children as soon as she could, but she also needed a moment to breathe, to calm herself before seeing her children again so she could be strong for them, be brave. 

Her body was tense, and she was trembling. The piece of her that had earlier felt like it was shattering now felt as if it had in fact done just that. There were so many thoughts, so many fears, running through her mind. Instinctively, she wrapped her arms around herself, trying to comfort herself as she had in the cells of the witch's ruins. 

Why, after this time of peace, did they have to return? Were they trying to stop the voyage, to keep them from reclaiming old Narnian lands? Were they strong enough, now, to target them again? Were there new conspirators to this scheme, new faces of foes that would haunt her dreams?

"Love, you're shaking. Do you need to sit?" Susan was drawn from her thoughts by the warm sound of her husband's concerned voice. She was just standing in the war room, likely had been for longer than she realized. "Or would you like to lay down for a moment?"

Could she take a moment of rest, knowing the children safe with her mother and Josie, as well as Kara and Ser Rowley? Could she let herself sob, or scream, or sit numb to let the emotions work through her, or was that a selfish thought, knowing the danger that was right under their noses? But then again, if she did not let herself work through this, was she not just causing herself more harm? She needed to be at her best, but felt so numb, so stressed and strained and broken. 

"I think I'll retire to our room for a moment." She said softly, and then in a quieter tone. "Join me? I don't want to be alone." 

"I'll never leave your side again." Caspian nodded, and he wrapped his arm around her waist as they walked to their room. Susan knew he blamed himself, that he felt guilt over having left on the voyage when all this happened. But she knew they would have struck no matter what, and likely chose this moment to in hopes of driving them all apart, putting the blame on each other. 

The two were silent as they reached their room. Closing the door behind them, Susan let herself sink into her husband's arms and sob. 

There was just too much. This was all just too much. The fragile happiness, the soft sense of normalcy that had started to settle over them, had crumbled. What was she do? She could not let them get her again, would not be taken again. It would be too much. They could not have her children, could not harm her husband or siblings. They would not touch her family, not now when things were finally returning to a state of happiness, to a sense of their old reality. Why, Aslan above, could she not just have peace?

Caspian scooped her up carefully and set her on the bed, then laid down and positioned himself in a way that made it easy for her to curl up on his chest. 

It had just been a short while before that they had been joking and laughing here, Susan teasing him about the thought of him staying behind being delayed longer because of the odds of them having another child to keep them from thinking about being parted. Now, they were both in tears, the fear she felt echoed in the sobs she felt her husband slip into. It was so much to take in, so many fears and anxieties, and she was just thankful Caspian was at her side again, that he was here and familiar and warm.