Astray Among The Stars

Chapter 45: Aftermath

Zarra looked up from her tablet, her face solemn. The room was cold and grim. A small crowd surrounded the seven coffins, all draped with American flags.

"It is with a heavy heart that I say these past few days have been a tragedy to this ship and its crew. Major Haltra, Lieutenant Lon, Mariner Rice, Mariner Rolando, Chief Petty Officer Rand, Crewman Jack and Crewman Larson-they were all excellent crew, and will no doubt be missed. Yet they will always have a place in our hearts, and they have served our country well."

The captian paused for a moment, taking glances upon the small crowd. "But let us not consume ourselves with their loss and absence. They would want us to get home and remember them in happy moments. We must continue without them, but they will always be with us among the stars."

* * *

Roger looked at the near empty mess hall. It was abandoned, dark and quiet. It was as if all of the crew were still in hibernation, as if he was alone.

"Roger."

"Yeah?"

"Feel okay?"

"Yeah. It's just a bit hard knowing they're gone. I didn't personally get to know them well, but they took me in, Tevs. They were like family, all of them. They were my family."

"Feel sad?"

"A little."

"When normal again?"

"Depends. For everyone else I can't say, but it'll take a long time. For me, a little."

"Why?"

"When you lose everyone in your life, Tevs, it numbs your sensitivity to death, especially when those who have died aren't known well. Look at me. Am I devastated? Am I in tears?"

She shook her head.

"Exactly. But it means a lot to everyone else, because they knew them. When Journey self-destructed, I was more shocked than sad, but once the adrenaline wore off, I was in tears. . . When you lost your mother, was that your first experience with death?"

Tevra nodded.

"You were in tears too. But after you witnessed her and countless of others die in front of you as a slave, are you deeply saddened by the loss of these crew members?"

The Valmirian shook her head.

"And if I died as well, would you feel the same?"

She took his hands. "No."

"Because you care for me. Because you know me. You-we have that relationship."

Tevra nodded. "Understand." The Valmirian stared into his eyes. There was a deep dejection in his gaze. "Roger, then why sad?"

"I feel responsible."

"No sense."

"Had I been nicer to Sloan, he would have never retaliated and snuck Keltalis onboard."

"Not fault. Did not know."

"I know, Tevs, but this still wouldn't have happened if I hadn't been so petty and took it to the next level."

"No bad think, Roger. Please stop."

Roger sighed, wiping is watery eyes.

Tevra looked at him. This went deeper than just a few deaths. Part of him blamed himself for what happened. Part of him blamed himself for the Journey, for leaving them all behind, for leaving Rose behind. He was the only one left, yet everywhere he went, bad luck seemed to follow him. Perhaps that is why he felt responsible.