Rain When I Die

Comfort

April 21st, 2002

Jerry woke up to the sound of knocking on his door. He didn't wake up oblivious like he did yesterday. He woke up with reality slapping him in the face instantly, tugging on the strings of his heart and making him want to cry himself back to sleep. He missed Layne so much. He didn't think he could go on without him, but somehow, he was. He was living and breathing while his best friend was gone, never to return to this world. It hurt him to think that they would never see each other again. He couldn't accept it, no matter how hard he tried to force himself to.

The knocking on the door continued, and eventually Jerry got out of bed, slipped on a pair of jeans, threw on an olive green t-shirt, put on some socks, and answered it. Mike Inez was standing there with a sad look on his face as he stared at Jerry, who looked like an absolute mess with his eyes all red and his hair all messed up.

"Can I come in?" Mike asked. Jerry nodded his head, stepping out of the way to let Mike through the door. There were beer cans sitting on the coffee table in front of the couch along with an empty and half empty bottle of sleeping pills. The house wasn't an absolute mess yet, but it certainly wasn't tidy. Mike took a seat beside Jerry on the sofa and sat in silence for a few moments as they both tried to think of something to say. Jerry wanted to say something to comfort Mike, something to reassure him that everything would be alright because Mike looked just as broken as he did, but deep down Jerry knew everything wasn't okay. Layne had been taken from both of them and it was anything but fair.

"Mike... I... I don't know," Jerry said as he stared down at his feet. "I don't know why this had to happen. It isn't right, man." Jerry was beginning to get visibly upset, pulling the top of his hair out of frustration.

Mike leaned over and gave Jerry a hug without saying anything. Jerry allowed himself to find comfort in his warm embrace, leaning his head on the man's shoulder and closing his eyes as tears ran down his cheeks. He had been doing a lot of crying, but it wasn't making him feel any better.

"I know it isn't right, but we can get through this. We have to." Mike's voice made him feel like he wasn't as alone as he had felt before, but it was nothing compared to the soothing voice of Layne. He missed him so much that it physically hurt, making him feel sick and giving him a horrible headache. He continued to sob into Mike's shoulder until he finally ran out of tears to cry. Jerry wiped his eyes and sighed shakily.

"I'm sorry," Jerry said, feeling miserable and embarrassed for crying. When he looked up at Mike, he found that the man had shed a few tears of his own as well. Jerry wasn't the only one who was upset over this, and that made him feel a little better. He wasn't completely alone.

"You know I'm always here when you want to talk, Jer. Call me or come over whenever and I'd be more than happy to talk to you. I know it seems like it'll never get better, but isolating yourself will only make the pain worse. I'm here for you." Jerry nodded his head. It will be hard, but at least he has someone by his side. Mike and Sean will always be there for him. They will get through this eventually, no matter how long it takes.