Consequences

⟡seventeen⟡

Brinley sat down on Holden's bed, excited to hear what her boyfriend had to say. She hoped it would be some kind of confession of his love for her, or an extravagant idea for their next date.

But she was wrong.

"You might hate me after this." Holden began, sighing. "And I was worried for when you would say that you love me."

"I'm not gonna hate you, Hold." Brinley laughed a bit.

"Brin, I've not been telling you everything." His voice got husky and deep. His fingers twitched and shook with every breath.

"Then tell me." Brinley finally got serious, noticing something was seriously wrong. He wasn't kidding.

"This is something that nobody has told you, and I wasn't sure if you'd remember it, but I can't have you loving me when you don't know the truth."

"I don't care about your past Holden. I love who you are now." Brinley grabbed Holden's hand tightly.

"It's not about my past." Holden said and Brinley let go of his hand slightly. "It's about yours."

His hazel eyes searched her brilliant blue ones for a reason not to tell her. He wanted to pretend nothing happened, move on. But he couldn't do that to her. He couldn't let her roam his house without knowing of the horrors that happened there.

"Then what?" Brinley was genuinely confused. What more could he know about her past? Her mother had already told her everything she needed to know.

"You know my brothers right? Alfie and Theo? Well, Theo used to be Teddy when you knew him..." Holden was stalling. "Nevermind. You know them right?"
"Yes. Of course I know them. I talked to Alfie early today."

"Well, he, uh, he did something bad. A long time ago. To you." Holden scratched the back of his neck, then put his hands over his face, shaking his head.

Spit it out, Holden, you dumb fuck! He yelled at himself mentally.

Brinley didn't say anything, she just stared at him, waiting for an answer to calm her racing mind.

"You were sleeping over, we were nine. I don't really know what happened, I guess. I was sleeping and my brother came into the room and..." Holden pressed his index fingers into his temples, not wanting to remember. "God, he touched you, Brin. Inappropriately."

Brinley was at a loss for words.

"I don't think Alfie meant any real harm, he was a young teenager, but it was still disgusting. Um," Holden didn't want to go on any longer, but he did. "Your parents found out, and that is why you moved away. Because of us."

"Holden, it's not your fault at all."

"No! It is! I shouldn't of had you over. I should have heard my brother come in the room. I should have fucking done something. But I didn't. And I lost you."

"What happened after we moved?"

"My parents and yours never spoke about it again, and they told Theo and I that if we ever told anyone, we'd be kicked out or something."

"And I lost my memory, and my mom didn't ever tell me?"

"Why would she? She didn't want you to relive that."

"But you want me to now?" Brinley was confused.

"Brin, baby," Holden grabbed Brinley's shaking hands. "I want you to know the truth. I can't lie to you."

Brinley knew why she freaked out at the beach. She knew why Alfie scared her so much. Little pieces of her childhood were recovered, piece by piece, with these small connotations of fear.

"I still love you, you know?" Brinley made sure Holden knew he wasn't losing her again.

"I love you more than anything." Holden pulled her into a hug, never wanting to let her go.

-

Brinley made her way home, not bothering to go back to her friends. She laid in her small, twin sized bed, thinking about what had just happened. She had admitted her love for Holden, and he had revealed a secret. Brinley thought about sharing this information with her mother. Maybe she could get more details, but in all honesty, she didn't want them. She knew what happened. She remembered his awful touch and lingering hands. She remembered wanting to scream but too scared of the older boy to say anything.

If she told her mother, she knew Connie would worry herself sick. She didn't care for the details, and she was rather glad that she had lost that part of her life, but she knew that she could never lose the feeling of being violated by someone she barely knew.

-

As soon as Brinley left his house, Holden's oldest brother strolled into the room with a smug smirk on his face. Holden knew what he was in for.

"These walls are thin. I could hear you right through them." Alfie took a seat on Holden's bed, not facing his younger brother.

"I had to tell her." Holden stared at him, examining every single move. Every slight movement made Holden flinch.

"You didn't say a word about it for eight years. You refused to talk about it to your own family. You wouldn't even let us say it. But now, you get to fucking decide when to spill all the family secrets? You get to look all noble by telling the truth?"

"Alfie..."

"Shut the fuck up." Alfie quickly turned and slapped Holden's cheek with an open palm. "You think you're the good guy here? Telling her how shitty I am? Telling her that I'm the one that made her leave?"

Alfie grabbed his brother by the collar of his shirt and pressed him against the wall. Holden was taller than Alfie, he was more muscular too, but Holden felt nothing but weakness. Usually he would have some sort of reaction. He would fight back. But he couldn't bring himself to even push Alfie off of him.

Holden's head was softly pressed into the wall. Alfie was careful not to wake his parents up. He took his fist and jabbed in into Holden's side, but Holden didn't make any noise. He deserved this.

"Why don't you tell your little girlfriend about your plans huh?" Alfie sent a hard punch at his brother's face, cutting open his lip.

"Tell her that you're gonna lose her." He punched again, this time harder, cutting Holden's cheekbone with his sharp knuckles.

"Tell her that you never intended to keep her." Holden was hit again, this time in the eye, then again in the nose. Blood poured down his face.

"Tell her that you lied."