WARNING: Depression, suicidal thoughts, major character death, heavy symbolism, implied childhood abuse, gangs, implied drug use, violence, toxic relationships, mental health, loss, and other triggering material
It's also a very old book of mine and I personally find it borderline offensive. I'm keeping it up because y'all seem to like it but it's triggering, just saying. Also this is simply just my perspective on a lot of subjects, and it is absolutely not a good model of anything. As a person with mental health issues myself, you will notice that a lot of the thoughts go unmentioned, which is better that's how I experience it, this is in no way meant to be an exemplar on how you should feel or think. If you're someone who's struggling with anything, please remember that asking for help is brave, and that we're all here to love and support you, no matter what. My dms are always open, and you can contact me on my instagram @/minhobloom or twitter @/ioniks if i'm not answering:) there are also loads of hotlines and safe spaces everywhere so if you're feeling like you might do something dumb, please, for the love of anything you believe in, contact them. thank you, love you!
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It was a cold winter night. Jisung was twelve years old. He had just woken up because he heard his mother scream. And was now running to the kitchen. Once he entered the kitchen he saw his dad stand over his dead mom with a knife in his had, he was smiling slightly as he turned to Jisung His dad opened his mouth to say something, but before he could say anything loud bangs was heard at the door. Jisung just stood still, he hadn't looked away from his mom ever since he first saw her. His usually lively happy mom, that would make him hot chocolate when he was sad, and kiss him on the forehead when she woke him up in the morning, was now lying lifeless on the ground in a pool of blood. Just as his mind seemed to finally comprehend the situation, the front door broke open and policemen rushed in. A tall policeman rushed to his side, and picked him up, taking him away from the unbearable sight.
He was crying again. Often, when Jisung fell asleep, the horrible flashbacks came flowing in to his dreams. Over the years a lot of memories faded, and Jisung could barley even remember his mum alive, but he could never forget the sight of his lifeless mother lying on the ground. His brother Changbin hadn't forgotten either, that is probably the reason he is the way he is. He was a lot older than Jisung was when it happened, and he saw all of it. Who could blame him for getting in to a gang, and starting with drugs. It wasn't like he thought of what it would do to his younger brother. But again, who could judge him for going through immense trauma and ptsd. Jisung certainly couldn't. It was Changbin who fed him, and took care of him when nobody else could, so it was only right that he would pay the prize by doing as told.
Changbin's other "gang leaders" was weirdly fond of him. They let him live a quiet and unbothered life, the only rule was to keep his mouth shut.
Until now.
Changbin and the others had been sloppy, and they needed to move before the police found them. They wanted Jisung to come with them. Of course Jisung had agreed, not that he really had a choice.
