Reality ↬ [RM + MH]

I'm Not Me

Riley sat back and read through some magazines while on the couch. It was taking her some time to adjust to her new life. She still hasn't returned to work and her memories aren't giving her any answers.

Parenthood has been hard on her. She's been getting help from Zay with Auggie and Ocean, but it's been hard to piece things together. All that has been on her mind is Maya.

Zay came into the room with Ocean fast asleep in his arms."Riley, I gotta make it to work so I have to leave in the next five minutes."

Riley sighed and put the magazine she was reading back down on the table. "Zay, I don't know what to do. I miss her, all the time Zay." Riley buried her head in her hands and let out a frustrated groan. "Riley, you miss the person you thought she was. Whatever you dreamed of, isn't real and you have to accept the reality you're facing."

"I know... it just feels so unreal. I fell in love with her all over again."

"I know, but you have to get your life back on track. You have kids and a company to worry about. You have to forget about your dream." Zay said as he sat on the coach beside Riley.

"You don't understand Zay, I can't just go back to this person I was because I feel like that person isn't me."

"But it is you. You just need time to ease back into your old life and everything will be just fine, I promise." Zay got up and gently laid Ocean on the couch. "Listen, I gotta go. I'll be back as soon as I can and don't do anything stupid while I'm gone."

Riley giggled as she said, "I promise I wont."

Zay smiled back at her and kissed her forehead. "Good."

Riley watched as Zay left her apartment. Laid back and turned on the t.v. The first show that popped up was spongebob. Riley crinkled her face then her eyes went wide as she started to have a memory.

——
"Mommy, I wanna stay home and watch sponge bob." Auggie whined.

"No baby, we all needed to go outside and get some fresh air. The park is fun." Riley said to her miserable child. "Now go play on the playground with Ocean while me and Maya talk." Riley laid a kiss on Auggie's cheek then Ocean's.

They both smiled then ran off to play in the sandbox.

"You're giving them a bath when they get home since this was all your idea." Maya said while nudging Riley. "I would've rather us staying in and watching sponge bob as well."

Riley rolled her eyes at Maya's comment. "So, what did you want to talk about?"

"Riles.. I feel like you've been drifting away from me. You're just always so caught up in work and we haven't been able to spend so much time together."

Riley gave a warm smile to Maya. "I'm sorry you feel that way honey, but I must provide for our family. We just have to just cherish these moments we have together huh?" Riley leaned over and kissed Maya on her cheek.

Maya gave a fake smile as she wasn't happy with that answer.

"Still love me?" Riley asked giving Maya a pout.

"Of course." Maya said and lifted out her hand. Riley took it with a big smile on her face.

"I love you too."

—

Riley woke up to the feeling of someone tugging at her shirt. She opened her eyes tiredly to see Ocean. "Mommy, mommy." He nagged.

Riley rubbed her eyes and sat up. "Yes, Ocean?"

"Hungry" he said while rubbing his tummy.

Riley gave him a small smile as she was recovering from her blackout. "Do you want some Mac and cheese baby?"

Ocean nodded eagerly.

"Ok sweetie"