Never Meant for This

Chapter 5 - Damned

-Disclaimer-

I own none of the characters mentioned unless stated otherwise. All rights go to Dick Wolf and NBC. This story is fictional and solely for entertainment purposes. Some scenes/vocabulary may not be suitable for young readers.

AN: Sentences that are in italics are Olivia's thoughts. Some words that are italicized aren't her thoughts but are just used to emphasize words.

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Ten...

Nine...

Eight...

Seven...

Six...

He slowly slurred the strangely recurrent number "six" as his consciousness ebbed. His thoughts were spiraling, seemingly resembling a carousel in the ways that they spun around inside his head. Around and around they went. And then, all at once, a blanket of sleep covered him, and the world seemed to slow down for just a few moments.

May 6th, 12:08 pm, NYC Hospital
Olivia's POV

Darkness. Pure, stark black darkness was all that was visible. Oddly enough, it wasn't a frightening sort of darkness, but more of a comforting one. She realized that her closed eyes were the source of the darkness, and couldn't seem to open them, as there was an extreme heaviness within them. With her eyes still closed, she became more audibly aware of her surroundings. She could hear the soft hum of a television in the background, as well as something that sounded like an air conditioning unit. There was also a strong and putrid smell- ammonia. It didn't take a genius to figure out that she was in a hospital. However, she couldn't for the life of her recall why she was there.

It didn't take long for her to remember the events that had taken place, however long ago they had happened. She couldn't remember much after Nick's outburst of words. "Wait! Don't shoot! I'll try to contact-" she recalled. Was I shot? She moved her arm slightly and felt thin, cold wires lying on it. Do I have an IV in my arm? she thought to herself. Damn, that's why I'd felt so relaxed when I woke up, they're pumping me full of morphine. She shifted a bit more in an attempt to adjust herself, but she felt a wave of pain wash through her lower abdomen, and run all the way up her rib cage. She stilled herself, realizing that her uncomfortable position was more bearable than the pain of attempting to move her sore body.

When the rustling noises of her bed ceased, she heard another noise- one that was more familiar than the sound of the coffee pot brewing in the morning at the precinct, and even more comforting than the morphine had been when she first woke up. At first, she first couldn't make out what the noise was, but when she realized that it was someone talking, her eyes immediately flung open. Gone was the comfort of her darkness, and what took its place was the glaring light that was pouring in through the window. Her eyes shut again in a futile attempt to block out the suns damaging rays, but were soon forced to reopen when she heard another mumbled phrase.

She opened her eyes more slowly this time and effectively, but painfully, turned her body to the side to block out the blinding light. Upon doing this, her attention was deflected from the window, over to the hospital bed that was to the side of hers. Her eyes slowly attempted to adjust to the figure that was situated in the bed, but it was her hearing that first came to the realization of who it was.

"Liv."

Damn that single-syllable word, damn the person who said it, and damn the way she melted when they did, she thought.

"Damn you, Stabler," she said, not intentionally meaning to say it aloud.

"I suppose I deserve that," he replied sarcastically, breathing out a laugh.

She took a few minutes to fully take in his presence. Why is he here, in my hospital room? Though this was a burning question in her mind, the traitorous part of her that still cared for the man who abandoned her wanted to know, "Why the hell is he in a hospital bed?"

"What the hell are you doing here?" she asked flusteredly, extremely confused by his calmness over the situation and his sudden reappearance.

Judging by the long pause before he said anything, he didn't seem too sure of how to answer her question. She watched him open his mouth in an attempt to form an answer but was cut off by the door to the room opening. She saw a tall man enter the room wearing a white lab coat, and she could only assume that this was her, or even their, doctor.

"Ah, I'm so glad to see you awake, Ms. Benson. We have a lot to catch you up on," he stated, all too cheerfully.

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Authors Note (AN): Hey everyone! I know that it's been quite a while since I have updated this story, and I'm not sure if anyone has stuck around all this time, but I wanted to post this chapter. I've had it in my drafts for a while now, and figured that I would post it for those of you who wanted an update, despite the fact that it still leaves you on a cliffhanger (sorry about that!). This chapter is definitely shorter than the previous ones, but I needed to end it where I did for continuity purposes. Thank you for reading, and please let me know if you would like more! Reviews really encourage me to continue writing, so anything you guys have to say regarding the story (preferably kind words) would be welcome and appreciated! :)