A Wolf of Ice and Iron [OLD]

Chapter 7

Adras

Fleeing my home of the last nearly sixteen years was much easier than I had first thought it would be.

It was the dead of night, dark and silent, the only sounds above us the cackling of crows and the fluttering of leaves in the cool autumn breeze. The back door in the kitchen was easy to open, unlocked as always, and it made no noise on a freshly oiled hinge as it was swung open into the garden.

As Winter and I passed the roses, I ran my fingers along their frosty crimson petals. I would miss these flowers, and this garden, although some part of me knew I would forget it within enough time. To leave was worth it, to leave was all I wanted. And although I was anxious, my whole body tingled with a strange sort of euphoria at the prospect of leaving my home behind.

Winter began to trot his way across the frosted grass, his amber eyes alight in anticipation. It was then I realised, truly realised, that Winter was a wild animal. A faerie born and bred in the wild, built for running and roaming free wherever he chose. I had taken that from him when I had bundled him into my home in the dead of night. Taken it from him with the selfish intent of saving him, when I had only made his longing for something more even worse.

Winter leaps over the small fence in a graceful bound, and then he is running. I follow him as best I could, but his long muscled legs leaping over the grass and whisking between trees was something I cannot match. I lose sight of him within seconds, the only thing telling me of his location the clattering of pine needles and leaves as he goes by.

I pause to glance back at my home. It would be a memory for me from now on, somewhere I did not wish to return to. But some part of me ached to see it further away than I ever thought it would ever be.

I was losing sight of Winter in the darkness, and the birds had stopped singing as he patterned his way through the frosty starlight. I did not feel confident and trusting enough for the faerie to not leave me behind, so I ran after him, my pack bobbing as I ran. I had filled it with possessions I thought essential for my life away from home. And I was grateful for my heavy and warm boots I and taken the time to put on.

My home was behind me, my family fading with it. My chest hurt at the feeling, and my eyes stung in a way I was not familiar with and didn't like, but some part of me could understand it. As I followed the faerie through the forests and further away, that pain increased. But along with it came a drunk feeling of freedom.

I did not turn around to look at my home again that night.

|~~~|

Winter only stops running when I am well and truly spent. It does not take long for me to collapse beside a tree, heaving in gulping breaths with my chest burning like fire. I have never had to run anywhere, let alone for too long. Winter is impatient, I can tell that much, but beside that he is respectful of my shortcomings.

Winter waits patiently as I catch my breath. His large paws scuffle the ground, and the frost is slowly giving way to snow as we go further north. The Tahthian wall is close, and Winter and I will have to sneak through before day breaks. Otherwise the people at the dawn guard post will kill him.

Wolves are killed on sight if they are within the borders. Faeries are captured to be tortured.

Winter nudges me with his nose, giving a low growl. Get going, he says, and even now it still sends tingles down my spine whenever I hear the words through every nerve in my being. We need to make it far before dawn.

Dawn is still a good few hours away, but Winter is clearly anxious. I get up and set off at a jog, trying my best to pace myself. We are not far from the wall, but Winter clearly cannot wait to get past it. Part of me is nervous for leaving Tahthian, the only place I have ever known, but that euphoric feeling sweeps me off my feet and keeps me going whenever nerves poke their way in.

Winter slows to pad by my side. I am surprised more by his lack of speed than his lack of personal space that it takes me a moment to realise how close he is, and my mind doesn't fully realise until he has touched me with his fur.

His amber eyes are hard and glinting in the darkness, determined and ready to run. He is on edge, that I can see, but he is also excited. I have not taken the time to think of how long Winter could have possibly been inside of Tahthian before I found him. Hours? Days? Perhaps even months? I do not know how long it has been since he's seen the outside world.

"So you're a faerie," I say gently, wanting to probe some conversation from him. Winter rarely speaks to me unless he needs something or is curious of something that concerns him or sometimes, if I'm lucky, me. But he does not speak of personal things unless blatantly asked.

Winter flicks one ear in acknowledgement at my words. He doesn't say anything else, but he quickens his pace a little.

I rush to keep pace with his four muscled legs, scurrying across the pathetic plains of melted snow and frost. "Faeries usually stay in their human forms. Why don't you?"

Winter's nose curls at that. Faeries don't have human forms. We just have our true selves and our beasts. Learn that.

Despite his harshness, he doesn't sound upset or annoyed at all. His eyes have softened considerably, and he seems a little less tense. I wait patiently for my answer, knowing not to fill the empty silence with words.

Winter seems impressed at my resilience and gives a pleased huff, looking back at me. He slows. I have not been in my true form for some time, since I have been in Tahthian for a good while. If they saw a Fae here, I would be burnt publicly. His words are hollow, hard, and rough. Brittle and ready to snap. I feel guilty, sad, despite it not being my fault that the Fae are despised so intensely.

Winter twitches his nose. When we leave, I can go back to that. I'm looking forward to it, but some part of me is also reluctant to leave my beast form. I feel secure with it. He pads toward the looming gate that blocks out the moonlight, dappled only with starlight. It is cold and quiet here. Nobody is awake.

This is the only semi-personal conversation Winter has had with me willingly, that seems a little more in depth than any other. He is quiet, serene, collected. But I can sense other emotions inside of him like a storm, and the bond makes it a stronger sensation than it would have been initially.

I haven't asked him why he chose me. I don't think I should. But I can't deny that I want to know it more than anything.

Winter pushes at the gate with his nose, and it groans in place. He frowns a little, then a little burst of white hot light forces the iron open. It swings wide for a few seconds, then begins to fall in. But we're both out the moment the gap is big enough.

I look back then. I can't see my home, and most of me doesn't even miss it. It's mostly curious what it will be like now that I'm gone. Curious as to why it was so important that I stayed, and why such little effort was made to keep me confined. Someday, perhaps. Someday I will know.

When I turn around, Winter is gone. He has sprinted across the ground with a great amount of excitement and love in his eyes, love for this place and the home he has left behind. We are two sides of the same dial - one of us running away from home, and one of us running back. The likeness makes my skin prickle.

I run after Winter, my pack banging against my spine and hip. It is filled with my belongings but in that moment I couldn't care less about what I own, what is mine and what is not. Right then, my eyes are all for the forest at midnight, the forest that feels bright with colour but is so dark that I run into a tree branch.

However, I do not worry about running into trees. Winter is there, guiding my feet, and I do not feel so alone anymore.