A Wolf of Ice and Iron [OLD]

Chapter 13

Adras

I do remember when Erenn was first born. He was a curious looking thing, and because I was only four at the time, I don't remember many details. I only remember one thing.

I remember not saying a word.

Everyone else was cooing over the new child, or perhaps turning up their noses in distaste - in Nari's case, at least. But I do remember not saying anything, not doing anything. Because Erenn was my brother, I didn't have any problems with him. But I also didn't like it.

My father was still there at the time. He smiled and picked me up and showed me to Erenn, and I didn't do anything. We used to joke about it sometimes, but I knew it was a sensitive topic for my father. But I never knew exactly why. I had never taken the chance to ask him. And now I never would.

As I grew, Erenn grew, too. He was the novelty of the family and a sweetheart to many, however talkative he was. And I was old news, I suppose.

My father didn't treat me as such. He still played with me and sat outside on the roof with me, sometimes. When I liked to stargaze, at the age of ten. When mother disappeared into the background to make room for Tarmae. When my father became distant. When I should have known he would disappear, too.

When I was twelve, Erenn became closer to me. There was a bigger gap between us and our other siblings, and we began to play with rocks and watch the stars together. Erenn wasn't a quiet person, and chattered through the night. I listened. And I found that I liked it.

But then... then dad left.

I never was told if he left or if he died. But I've always thought he left. Perhaps, I always told myself, father was a faerie, and he couldn't stay with us forever. Maybe he had to leave, and he'd come back for us one day. To bring us with him to the faerie land, and we could feast and laugh and play music together.

But he never came.

After that day, I waited at my window for him. We used to sit there often, and he helped me grow flowers. Once, he'd even said to me;

"If I'm ever not here, Adras. Ever. Wait for me here. I'll find you."

Why he said that, I'm not sure. And I'll never know. Because he never returned, and things only changed from then.

Erenn stopped speaking. He didn't say anything to anyone, and when he spoke to me, and only me, it was short. As if he'd forgotten how. We'd had a special conversation once, together, when I was fifteen and he eleven. And I will never forget it.

I always loved Erenn. And I always will. And I miss him every day, even when I'm with him. When I was home, when I was eating breakfast. I missed Erenn, my little brother. Because the person in that house now? The person I left behind... he wasn't my little brother.

I didn't just lose my father that day. I lost Erenn, too.

~

Erenn clambered onto the sill, his fingers clutching at the pillows. He grunted as he managed to pull himself up to the window, and poked his head out, brown hair flicking around his face. "Adras? Why are you on the roof?"

His brother sat there, curled in on himself, fingers tapping his feet in a steady rhythm. His cheeks were tear-stained, and his long dark lashes were fluttering against his cheeks, eyes closed. He had a fur blanket wrapped around him.

Erenn clambered onto the roof with some difficulty, sitting beside his brother and stretching out his legs. He was silent, blinking a few times at the stars. Then; "He isn't gone forever, you know."

Adras looked up, his eyes blinking in surprise, as if he hadn't noticed Erenn there or hadn't heard him before. "What... what do you mean?" He choked a little and wiped his face.

Erenn hadn't seen Adras cry before. Part of it scared him, but he also felt almost... relieved. Relieved his brother at least let himself feel emotion when he was alone. "I mean that dad isn't gone forever. I think he's still there."

"How so?" Adras answered, wiping his stuffy nose, which sniffled as he breathed. He stretched out his legs, bare feet kicking at the slate roof tiles.

"He's in the stars," Erenn answered. He didn't know how to comfort his brother, but he did know he was upset. And he was saying whatever he thought could help. "He's... happier. But he misses you."

"Misses me?" Adras snorted softly, bitterly. Wiping his nose again. "Maybe. But he'd help if he truly cared."

Erenn flinched a little. Even at eleven, the child knew that Adras's life was unfair. Cruelly so. Perhaps it was almost comical, the fence that surrounded their home to keep him in - when it barely came up to the teenager's knees.

But Adras cared about his family. Erenn knew that. And so Adras wouldn't leave.

Erenn was silent as Adras began to cry again, his sobs dry. Perhaps then, it wasn't really crying. It was just sadness trying to come out, but Adras was keeping it in.

Erenn turned to his brother and took his hand. "I think you're special, Adras."

"Special?" Adras sniffed and looked up, eyes red and puffy. He sniffed again, shaking his head. His black hair had grown a lot recently. Fifteen was a growing age.

"Yeah." Erenn examined his hand, the lines amongst his palm and the rough marks that climbing the roof each night left. He set down his hand on his lap. "Because you're different."

Adras snorted bitterly, staring straight ahead at the dark sky.

"I'm serious," Erenn said with a huff. He shifted closer to him. "I dream about you sometimes. Your future."

"My future?" Adras looked at him curiously. "How do you know it's my future? It hasn't come true."

"I can feel it," Erenn repeated, his voice soft as always. "It's a future that's coming. I think. But there's a turning point soon."

Adras smiled a little, looking at his brother. "What is it, then? Don't leave me hanging, Erenn."

Erenn smiled a little as he fiddled with his brother's hand. "It's a future where you have pointed ears, in a place where there is no sun."