pierce the veil

before the concert

        Maddi and I enjoyed as we watched the guys change into different shirts, it was a lovely sight that included a lot of giggling, staring, and daydreaming. When Jaime noticed, he walked over to us shirtless and began modeling for us with the strangest poses. "Like what you see? Usually $500,000, but I'll lower it to $499,999 just for you girls."

        Maddi and I laugh hysterically while Jaime frowns and walks away. As I end up looking Mike, he notices and winks at me. I blush and hope Maddi didn't notice, but I know she has as soon as she began hitting my in the arm harder than she means to. "Fuck! I can't stand that guy. And neither can you."

        "Oh, shut up," I retort. "He's hot and you know it. You just hate him because you want me to be with Vic."

        "When did I say I want you to be with Vic?"

        "You don't need to say it," I say, looking at her with the you're-my-best-friend look. "I just know."

        "I'm the one who told you that Mike likes you," she argues. "But, I will admit, I'd prefer you choose Vic."

        "Why is everyone saying I have to choose between them?" I ask, confused and angry. "It's not like either of them asked me out. I mean, I made out with Vic, but that's it. Nothing even happened with Mike, except we looked at each other a few times. Oh no."

        "How many times do I have to tell you to stop acting like a clueless bitch?"

        "No more times, because I'm done," I admit. "Can we just forget about the whole love thing and just enjoy the sight of shirtless band members? That's the only love I want: The love of the sight of shirtless band members. It's the only love I need."

        "Oh look," she says. "We actually agree on something."

        All we could do was sit down and watch the guys do routines and rituals before the concert began. We got to hear funny voice exercises and watch them huddle around and say motivational things. And I watched as Vic was praying by himself in the corner, and Jaime ran over to him and said, "Tell God I say hi!" I wonder if this is how it is every concert night; it seems so pressuring and scary.

        Me and Maddi were still unsure of what we were going to do when the concert began, but she didn't want to ask because she didn't want anyone to assume that we expected some special treatment or anything. So when she went to the bathroom, I went up to Vic, who was sitting on a bench tying is shoes, and sat next to his feet that are up on the bench. He looks up from his shoes and says, "Hey."

        "Hi," I say, wondering if it was a bad idea to ask him instead of anyone else. But I feel like I haven't talked to him in forever. The last time we did talk was before we made out, and then we got interrupted and he left without sayng bye or even looking at me. "Me and Maddi were just wondering where we're going for the concert. I'm asking now because she's in the bathroom and she thinks it's rude if we ask.

        "I don't know, ask Mike," he says quietly. And I can tell that what Kellin said was right; he hurts easily. "Maybe you can watch the concert from his bedroom."

        I sigh. "Who told you?"

        "Doesn't matter. What matters is I was hoping it was a lie," he says. "Now I know it's not."

        "Would you rather me lie to you?"

        "I'd rather you love me, and only me," he stops for a second, as if he's regretting what he just said. He puts his feet on the ground, but gestures for me to stay where I am; which is about three or four feet away from him. "Or I'd rather you to show interest in me, instead or me and my brother."

        "I don't even know you. Or Mike. It was just an idea."

        "You know what else was 'just an idea'? My Chemical Romance, and look at them. That was like twelve years and amazing. But of course, 'just an idea,'" he argued, getting angry with each word he says. "And I know you. I read your letter, and I have a right to fall in love with you. Because that's how I feel, I love you and your story. I love your insecurities, your passions, your weird college stories, your strange sense of humor, your music taste, your look of innocence even though you're no where near it, your cluelessness of what the world really is, your way of making everything matter, I just, fuck. I love you."

        "But I don't know anything about you."

        He lays his hand gently on mine and slides much closer to me. "I'll tell you everything."