call me by your name - mixed book

KILL YOURSELF (2) •timothée chalamet imagine•

*

Then the realization hit me.
I was still here.
On my bed, wearing sweatpants and a oversized shirt that was definitely not mine.
I opened my eyes slowly, studying the room carefully.
It was dark outside but the room was lightened up by the light chain on the wall above my desk.
I sat up and rubbed my eyes.
I remembered what happened. That i swallowed the pills to kill myself but I didnt know what happened, why/how I'm still alive.

So I got up and walked downstairs smelling some kind of food. My dad was home?
I opened the kitchen door and saw a guy standing at the stove, cooking something. He was shirtless.
When he looked at me I swallowed hard.

Timothée???

He set down the spoon he used for the cooking and looked at me.
„Y/n."

He walked up to me, took my hand. What the?
„You dont even know how glad I am that u woke up. I thought i'd lost you forever."
He had tears rollen up.

Did Timothée Chalamet care about me?

„How?" i was able to whisper.
„I made you puke those pills out..." he whispered back. I nodded slightly, then smiled a bit.
I think he really did care about me. At least enough to not want to let me die.

Which was more than ive ever got.

„Please forgive me for everything ive done. For everything Jack's done to you. That ive never reacted or said anything. Im so so so sorry! I never meant to let this happen..."

Timothée was crying by then.

„Stop." i said quietly touching his cheek with my right hand. He slowly took my hand in his.
„I forgive you."

I had no choice.
He saved me.

„Timothée." I murmured, then hugged him. I dont know why, i just hugged him as tight as i could. And that was the moment ive realized that maybe living was a bit better than death. Even tho Timothée and I have never been friends, I appreciated his touch right now, more than anything.
„Thank you y/n, thank you so much!"
He hold me tight and I pulled his hair while i lied my head on his shoulder.

„How did you know?" i mumbled when I let go.
„After Jack had said those things about the pills I started thinking and i didnt want you to hurt yourself. Just in case you were hurting yourself I got here and knocked on the door but you didnt answer so I kind of broke in and found you in your bed."
-„Thank u." was pretty much everything i was managed to get out.

„Of course... And i thought u might be hungry so I cooked you pasta."
I looked over to the pot of boiling water.
„How did you know I loved pasta?"

Timothée smiled and answered:"Your mom used to cook it for you right? I've read the story you wrote in 9th grade. The essay I mean. It somehow found its way into my hands. And I was impressed by the way you talked about your mom and dad. And how you expressed your feelings was amazing. You're a fantastic person y/n, and forget everything Jack said. You're precious alright? You are worth everything. I cant lose you."

-„Why would you say such stuff?
You've never cared about me."
Timothée shook his head and then spoke:"Because I love you, y/n y/l/n. With all my fucking heart. And Im horrible at this, expressing feelings. Especially one ive never felt before. But you are so much more y/n. So so much more. And Im sorry for bullying you all these years. Im sorry, i dont even know how often to say it. Im so sorry. No one deserves that. And definitely not you. You're gorgeous y/n.
And i didnt want to but i fell in love with you. And I cant help it. Remember back in kindergarten?
I met a superhero, i lost her and i want her back.
You did things to me that one one else could, i missed that.
I missed that."