Chronicles of a Fat Teenager (Complete - Sequel coming soon)

Chronicles of a Fat Teenager - Chapter Twenty Five

“You OK, Babe?” Beth asked as she quietly entered the hospital room.

Jess had been placed in a private room and she lay quite still, as small as a child in the white sheets, dwarfed by the vast hospital bed. Her skin was pale and her delicate features accentuated her porcelain appearance. She opened her eyes slowly and smiled weakly

“How long have you been here?” she asked, “What time is it?

Beth looked up at the clock on the wall and walked over to the bed, “It’s 6.35am, Jess. I’ve been outside but your parents said I could come in to say goodbye before I left.

Jess nodded and closed her eyes, “I’m so tired, B. They’ve had me hooked up to this thing for ages,” and she waved her hand towards the drip.

“You lost a lot of blood, Jess. They’re topping you up.”

“I remember the blood,” Jess remarked, eyes opening and her face contorting with the memory, “I could smell it around me in the toilet. That metallic smell. I just felt so helpless, it just kept seeping out of me.”

Beth shuddered at the memory, “But the bleeding has stopped now?” she asked nervously.

“Yeah, stopped a couple of hours ago. I’m just anemic now so they’re sorting my blood out. They’ve scanned me and have said I can go home later today.”

Beth sighed, “So … did they tell you why? W-What made you, lose …”

“They said it just happens. As it’s my first pregnancy, it’s not uncommon to miscarry. I’m a little underweight, but they think the baby was small and probably had some developmental problems which is why I miscarried.”

Jessica’s voice was monotone, like she was reading lines she’d been given. They had obviously told her all of this but it had little meaning to her.

Jess looked down to her tummy and eased the sheets down below her waist. She wore a hospital gown and her legs looked really thin like a child’s. She placed her hands over her tummy and tears welled up in her eyes, “I just … I just feel so lonely without … without it being there. I know it sounds stupid, but even when I was alone, I wasn’t alone because baby was there, growing inside me. Now my baby is gone, I feel … empty … lonely. The one thing I should be able to do … and I failed.”

Beth sat on the edge of the bed and put her arms around her. She felt so weak and vulnerable in her arms as she quietly sobbed.

“You should speak to someone, Jess. Like a grief counsellor.”

Jess sniffed and nodded, “They passed mum a handful of leaflets. After the scan they said they could see …. Nothing left … they said I could go home today and I could see someone next week. I think dad will look into me seeing someone before then but privately. He’s being practical, exams start in a few weeks and he doesn’t want me too messed up for them.”

Beth nodded and held Jessica’s hand.

“What now?” Beth asked quietly.

“I think I’m supposed to get on with my life. There’s no funeral. Nothing to mark it ever happening. If baby had been with me longer, they do that then.” Jessica’s voice broke, “I heard one of the nurses talk about my age and I heard her say “lucky escape” and how I’ll be relieved when all of this dies down. How can I, Beth? I had life in me … then it went away. Oh God … all those people!”

“What people?” asked Beth.

“At the party, what a scene! Oh God … Michael was there. Oh God and Lucy and Claire. Oh … they must be thinking this is all very funny. Ha ha, look at Jessie, ha ha!” and Jessica laughed cynically.