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Title: Living With A Potential Disaster
Author: @silverrosess
Genre: Teen Fiction
On Point Title:3/5 The title didn't really make sense until the end of Chapter 10. There was hinting at it, but it was barely there. Make it more clear how Morgan's life could be affected terribly by Jordan earlier on.
Lit Cover:1/5 (FYI I give zeros) The cover doesn't relate to the story. It's not awful, but it isn't eye catching and doesn't give off a single aspect/vibe of the story.
Bomb SPAG: 7/15 Your grammar wasn't the worst I've ever seen. It's mainly commas that are placed where they aren't needed and interrupt the flow and unnecessary italics or not italicizing things that need to be. Thoughts of the character are supposed to be italicized and the only times where you italicize something in narration or dialogue is when you really want to emphasize something, but make sure to keep it to a minimum or you'll over do it. With the commas, they're placed everywhere. I don't think there's a sentence without a comma. Commas act as mini-periods, sorta. You know that kinda pause that comes with a period? A comma is like half that pause. Read your writing out loud and use that half-pause thing whenever you have a comma and see if it sounds weird and makes your work sound choppy. There are sentences that are oddly structured and a few run-ons. I had to go back sometimes and read over to understand it. I saw some sentences like "she had a grimace look." You don't need the "look", just "grimace" since that's an action sorta. It's like saying "she gave a wave move." You're saying she moved even though you said she waved, which is a move. Also, make sure to look out for words that are missing a space.
Fire Plot: 9/20 Up until the end of Chapter 10, I was going what is your plot? At first I thought maybe it was Anna and Jordan getting back together but then I realized that'd likely be too boring for a teen fic story and it would likely end up with Morgan and Jordan getting together as the plot, which I'm 102% sure is going to happen now. Also, there wasn't much hook to the story. There wasn't much to keep me eager or curious to turn the pages. The only sliver of tension was between Anna and Jordan but even that was limited since it was dealt with so offhandedly nearly all the time. And, there. Are.. Basic. Cliches. You've got the popular guy likes nonpopular girl (but in this case Kyle isn't going to be the love interest so I guess it's not as bad), there's the short girl and tall guy cliche, the best friend's ex cliche, the bad-boy cliche (I'm not 100% sure on this one but after that scene with Jordan being rude to the teacher, it felt like it was trying too hard to get in the bad-boy bit in the story). Cliches aren't bad necessarily, they're unavoidable. Everyone has cliches, it's just how you portray them and the writing. You could have an entirely unoriginal story but with amazing writing that makes it great. Also, you have little to no description. I have no idea where the characters are besides a basic location like school or home. Imagery is necessary for the reader to be able to connect with the story.
