I am so sorry for how late this is. I really appreciate your flexibility with all this. Thank you so much for your patience!
Disclaimer: Believe it or not, the main purpose of this review book is to help you become a better writer. I may come off as harsh- oh who am I kidding, I will come off as harsh, but just know this is all for your benefit and don't take it personally. I'm actually a relatively nice person, occasionally, and will gladly accept any and all questions you have concerning your review. Now let's yeet on over to the review.
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The title works for the story, though it's something a little oldfashioned. if that makes sense. You know those kinda old fantasy books like Earthsea? The title reads as something written around that time and that kind of old-timey style with the big, unnecessary words. You could leave the title as is, but personally, I think it could be a little more intriguing.
Lit Cover: 2.5/5
The cover is nice, but not eye-catching. I myself am awful with covers and it's better than any I've tried to make, but it still isn't something that'd grab your attention. The colors are a bit muted and the picture itself is a little faded. Maybe the dragon, who I'm assuming is Rana, could have the scales be a little more vibrant like it's described in the story and the girl could be a little sharper, if that makes sense. I like how the title is printed, but maybe make it a little larger.
Bomb SPAG: 13/15
Your grammar was nearly spotless. I couldn't find any mistakes with wording, formatting, or sentence structure. The only things I noticed was a couple misspellings (which is fine, we all have it, just make sure to fix them) and some missing commas. I noticed you don't have commas in most places where there are conjunctions. Whenever there's a word like but, then, though, as, yet, etc. there should be a comma before or after the word, depending on where it is in a sentence. If the word is at the beginning of the sentence, the comma is after it "However, " If it's in the middle, the comma is usually before and after it, unless it's the word 'as' in which case it's just before the word, ", yet," ", as". If the word is a the end of the sentence, the comma is before, ", though." Yes, I sound very pretentious here but let's just let it slide. (Also I'm a major hypocrite here since unless I'm writing my story I rarely use punctuation lmao).
There should also be a comma after every word in a list, even before the 'and'. An example of when you didn't do that in your story would be: "Herlon, Lillian and Annie - good night." See that? That's wrong. There should be a comma after the 'and' or else it's like Lillian and Annie are addressed at once and are together. An external example would be something like: "I ate cereal, juice and toast." This is incorrect. Without the comma, it's like you ate the toast with the juice when actually it's just a list of what you ate. No one eats juice with toast, but if you do you are an absolute menace to society why would you do that? Do you also eat cereal with juice? What kind of sick, twisted monster are you? No, it should be: "I ate cereal, juice, and toast." That there is correct. Now the correct version of your sentence would be: "Herlon, Lillian, and Annie - good night." There's other instances of incorrect listings throughout the story, but it's pretty easy to just go through and fix them.
