Commandments (short story, completed)

Thou Shall Be True./

I laid back on the couch, stretching my arms over my head. I leaned farther and farther back until I could feel the warmth from the sun blazing through the window. God, it felt good to just be, without a rude roommate or overly concerned nurse or far too distracting doctor hovering nearby.

A soft chuckle floated towards me from the hallway. "Comfy over there?"

I sighed and closed my eyes. "Very." I could hear Dex's heavy footfalls continuing on into the kitchen. Though Haven housed both male and female patients, during my stay there I only ever encountered females. I was grateful, as I had heard some pretty startling stories from some of the longer term, but still kinder, women who at times had to share a room with a man. I felt different, almost shy, around Dex now. Sure, he would come to visit, but those were mostly rare due to his work schedule and general dislike of the place.

I couldn't help but think that another reason I felt so shy was due to my constant thoughts about Carter. It felt almost wrong to be with Dex. Every kiss, hug, touch made me wonder how different it would feel with Carter. I felt horrible, especially given how patient and sweet Dex was being, but I just couldn't stop the thoughts from intruding.

"Did you want lunch? I think I might make pasta."

His cooking skills were yet another reason I needed to get my wayward thoughts in line. "Sounds great, baby. Need some help?"

"Nah, should be pretty simple."

I hummed and laid back once more, soaking in that warm sun until I found myself dozing.

* * * *

"This is delicious," I rudely gushed around bites of creamy noodles.

Dex smiled. "It's just plain old pasta."

I scoffed. "Modesty does not become you, Dexter." A napkin quickly came flying my way, and I laughed heartily. "It's a smart name. It suits you. Embrace it."

"No."

"Dex-"

"How're you?" he interrupted smoothly.

I stabbed at my pasta, scowling at him a bit for changing the subject. "I'm fine. How are you?"

"You know what I mean. How are you, seriously? Like... are you cured or whatever?"

And there it is. Dex could never really understand my mental state, casually tossing it to the side like a project he could "fix" later. "No, I'm not cured. You can't cure trauma, Dex. But like I said, I'm fine."

"I'm just saying, you haven't talked much about... anything, since you've been back."

"I've been back for two days."

"Still."

"I'm not ready to talk about anything," I said quietly.

He nodded, standing up and gathering dishes as he went. I reached to grab the dishes from him. "Let me. You've done enough for me already." I leaned up and planted a kiss on his cheek, earning a dimple. Another set of dimples flashed in my mind, and I quickly averted my eyes. Dex put a finger under my chin, making me look at him.

"You good?"

I swallowed, studying him. I really needed to get myself together. I had a perfectly good man in front of me, and I needed to appreciate that.

"Yeah, I'm good." I forced a smile and moved around him into the kitchen, mind wandering.

Dexter was pretty much the handsomest guy in our graduating class, and probably the whole town. He was athletic and smart, earning the title of Class President and Most Likely to do anything except fail. I was more of the quiet, artsy type. I didn't care for the pep rallies or the dances, but Dex thrived in those environments. Maybe that's why we gravitated towards each other. He was this big ball of energy, and I was more than happy to sit back and just absorb.

Dex and I ended up on opposite sides of the country for college, but somehow, despite widespread doubt, stayed together throughout. I loved him, he loved me. I trusted him, he trusted me. And why wouldn't we? We were nothing but honest to each other, since day one. It was scary, being so far away from him, but when we reunited it was just like meeting up with an old friend, my best friend. We were used to each other, we just... fit. It was comfortable, and comfort was definitely what I needed. But lately, things were just feeling different. I wanted to blame it on my mental state, but that wasn't fair.

"I'm gonna head to the court," he announced, appearing in the doorway to the kitchen. I knew cooping up in the house with me would wear thin quickly. "You gonna be okay?"

I nodded, but he looked doubtful. "I don't have to go."

I gave him a reassuring smile. "Yeah, go have fun. I know you hate being inside. It's okay. I'm going to finish these dishes, then finish my nap."

"Love you," he said softly, pressing a kiss to my forehead. He grabbed his gym bag, gave me one last wink and disappeared through the door. I stared after him for a minute, then continued on washing dishes.

* * * *

Wrinkled fingers clawed at me from either side of the bed, threatening to drag me down and pull me under. I whipped my head around frantically, trying to fight off the hands and this thing. But my eyes wouldn't open.

"Your fault, your fault, your fault."

I fought against the hands, against the dark space that now seemed to be pressing down on me.

"Your fault, you fault, your fault, your fault."

I gasped, desperately seeking air. Why can't I see? Why can't I breathe?

"Help," I whimpered, still searching, still seeing nothing. My lungs felt like they might collapse. "Carter, help me. Carter!"

* * * *

I woke with a start, sliding my hand up to swipe away the hair now matted to my forehead. I gingerly peered over the side of the bed, knowing deep down I wouldn't see anything but still afraid. I let out a tiny breath of relief that there were no fingers, or fiery flames of hell beneath the bed. I reached for my phone on the bedside table, noting that only a few hours had passed. I unlocked the phone, and went to look for Dex's name, but decided I didn't want to bother him.

I scrolled to the name of the person I knew would understand and talk me through what the hell that dream meant. The person whose name I screamed to save me. I had a brief thought that I shouldn't bother him, either, but he said call anytime, right?

I took a deep breath and pressed his name, knowing how pathetic I must be to call him after only two days.

He picked up on the first ring.

"Nia?"

SIDEBAR: Any feedback and votes will be greatly appreciated!!! Please feel free to let me know how crappy my writing is! Lol <3