Commandments (short story, completed)

Thou shalt not give into temptation./

Tears filled my eyes and threatened to spill over as Ms. Jacobs embraced me, smoothing a hand down my hair. As much as I wished and hoped to be out of this place, I couldn't believe how emotional I was being now that the day had finally come.

"You've made such great progress, Nia. We're all proud of you," Ms. Jacobs assured me as she released me. Her round, brown eyes were mere slits due to her big prideful smile, but I could see she was tearing up as well.

"Thank you, Ms. Dr. J," I jokingly replied, smiling back at her widely. "I definitely wouldn't have pulled through without you." She waved me away, and I let my eyes stray behind her to the large logo that was all over the building. I looked over to the common area, where a few girls were seated, eating snacks and pretending not to sneer at me. As if I cared. I made a solemn vow to myself that I would never step foot in this place again, and likewise not have to see those girls anymore. I planted one last kiss on Ms. Jacobs' cheek, flipped my hair defiantly for the girls' benefit and turned to go outside where I knew Dex would be waiting. He always hated coming to see me here, and I can only imagine the smile on his face that we weren't pressed for time, I didn't have to be back in an institution at a certain time, we were finally free.

I was halfway across the lobby, my hand already reaching for the door, when a soft touch stopped me. My breath caught. He wasn't supposed to be here today. I turned around quickly, eyes wide. He gave me a tiny smile.

"Dr. Edwards," I said quietly.

"Nia," he replied. He read the unspoken question in my eyes. "I decided to come in today, to check on a few things. I figured I should say good-bye to you since I'm here."

I looked around, always paranoid, although nothing has ever actually happened between us. I just felt the tension and chemistry between us so strongly, I couldn't fathom how anyone else was unable to sense it.

My eyes fell on his hand still grasping my arm, and he dropped it quickly, clearing his throat.
"Well. Goodbye," he stated firmly, the softness erased from his voice.

I was really hoping he wouldn't be here today, and he knows that. I'm not, and probably will never be able to be, ready to say goodbye to him. As much as I hate this place, seeing him and simply being around him every day made it so much more bearable.

I finally found my voice and smiled weakly up at him. "Thank you for everything, Dr. Edwards. It's going to be...difficult. Being away from.... the hospital. After. You know. All you guys' help." I bit my lip, frustrated at my lack of communication. "I will miss you-uh, our sessions. The therapy. Counseling. It really helped."

He ran a finger over his lips, clearly amused at my fumbling. "Do you have everything you need? All your appointments set up?"

"Yeah," I hooked a finger over my shoulder, "Julia scheduled everything. I'm all set."

He nodded, and stepped a bit closer to me. "I'll miss you, too," he said softly. My heart rate picked up, and I found myself biting my lip again. "Be safe, and call me if you need me. I mean it."

I looped my arms around his neck impulsively, and he squeezed me back. I pushed up on my tiptoes, planting my nose in his neck where I knew the smell of heaven would be. A hug from him was so few and far between, I always tried to take advantage when one happened. I just felt so safe with him, safe from everything, including myself. I felt guilty that I couldn't say the same about my embraces with Dex, but things with him were just different. It's probably a good thing I'm being discharged; we've already used enough restraint thus far. I caught Ms. Jacobs glancing in our direction and reluctantly pulled back.

"I've gotta go," I said.

"I know."

I smiled once more, and he attempted to smile back, but his eyes were so sad. "Bye Nia."

I waved and turned, stepping outside, into freedom and possibility and Dex and away from the routines and predictableness and missed chances and love and Carter.