It'll Never Be Perfect

3

Two weeks pass. Louis has done nothing but go to work and lounge around at home. He had canceled on Niall for that party he had invited him too. Louis was in no mood to go to a party.

If there was any party he was attending, it was his own pity party. Louis doesn't like to feel sorry himself, but lately it's all he's been able to do. He misses Harry. He misses not being alone.

Right now he's in his room, well, Harry's. Louis has gotten most of his things moved out and into his own apartment. He was going to stay with Zayn or Niall, but he decided it's time for him to live in his own place.

He knows Harry won't be home for another week or so. He hasn't talked to him so he doesn't know how his dad is doing. It pains Louis, he feels selfish, but Harry never really spoke about his father to Louis anyway.

Louis falls asleep not long after he had gotten into bed, wearing only Harry's shirt and a pair of underwear. It felt familiar, and thats more than Louis could ask for.

-

Louis wakes up around 2 AM to the sound of the door being opened, keys rattling. He quickly rolls out of bed and moves slowly to figure out what the ruckus is. He prays it's only Harry.

It is. Thankfully. Louis steps out as Harry flicks the light on, his eyes look swollen with tears. Louis knows that means the worse.

Harry's eyes land on him and he drops his bags, heading straight towards Louis, engulfing him into a hug, then crying into his neck, "He's gone, Lou." He cries. Louis wraps his arms around Harry's neck and holds him close, running his fingers through Harry's hair.

"Oh, baby." Louis closes his own eyes and lets out a breath, "I'm so sorry, I'm right here."

Harry lets out a choked sob and pulls away, wiping at his tears, "But you aren't- I drove you away." He sits on the couch, head in his hands, "I pushed you away- I have no one, I've ruined everything."

Louis frowns, he's never seen Harry at such a vulnerable state before. "No, Harry." He says softly, taking a seat next to him, "None of this is your fault." He whispers, placing a hand on Harry's knee, "You will never lose me, ever."

Harry turns his face and looks at Louis with hesitation, "But you said-"

"Only because I wanted what was best for you." Louis tells Harry, "I know you are going through such a hard time right now, you don't have time to deal with this, you know? It's best you focus on you, helping yourself."

"Louis." Harry says quietly, Louis barely hears him say it. "I love you." He tells him, "There is nothing more important than being there for you and helping you get better, so that one day we can start building a life together." He's stilling crying, "Yes, this is hard." He admits, "But I can't go through this alone, Lou, I need you." Harry's face crumbles, "Please don't leave me alone- You're all I have, baby. I can't."

Louis's heart melts as tears leave his own eyes, he scoots closer to Harry and the older man leans down and lays his head in Louis's lap, crying against his skin. "I won't- I'm sorry."

Harry's hand moves to his thigh and squeezes it, his body shaking as he cries and cries.

Louis lets him, his hands going into his hair and soothing him, "I love you, I'm so sorry."

"I love you more." Harry says quietly, swallowing harshly as he starts to draw little hearts on Louis's thigh, "I can't live without you, Louis, thats why it's so important that you get better, you can't leave me, we have to live long and happy lives." He tells him, his words are slurred, like he's been drinking. Louis is almost sure he has been, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He says, voice firm as he lifts his head from Louis's lap and looks him dead in the eyes, "Do you want that too?"