It'll Never Be Perfect

4

Harry felt nothing but pain as days went on. He and Louis had little contact, but it wasn't personal. Harry has had almost no contact with anyone at all since he watched Louis leave the apartment that he had told Louis he wanted to share with him. Where they were going to start their life together.

Harry misses Louis, he's always thinking of him. Wondering what he's doing. Wishing he was here so he could shower him with love and affection. Hold him while he sleeps. Wake him up with breakfast and a fresh pot of coffee. He wanted it all with him. His entire life with him. He never wanted- or needed anything more. He loves Louis with his entire being, and everything after that.

He almost texts Louis to see what he was doing, to see if he wanted Harry to come and pick him up from wherever he was. Except he already figured he's at Zayns.

In fact he knew where Louis was, with Zayn. He hated it. Zany had feelings for Louis but he knows Louis has no where to go until his new flat is ready. While that entire situation boiled a brick ton of worry in his chest he tried to focus on other things, he always failed nether less.

Harry thought this time away would heal the broken parts of their relationship, but it wasn't a bandage to the wound, more like a slap to a wrist. Alcohol to an open wound with nothing to bite on but a pillar of self pity.

He scolded Louis for leaving him and carried on to do the very exact thing to him when he was scared and defensive. He understood now where Louis was coming from. He found himself building barrier where there was once nothing but open range for Louis to roam through.

Situations change circumstances in most instances. It's unfortunate but life takes its toll on you, your relationships, even friendships. All they did was go back and forth with the same things constantly. Both of them holding up walls they didn't know they had rising in the first place. It's an innocent action on both ends.

Why? Because their human and humans all have a flight, fight or freeze mode. They both choose flight but when they try to work things out it goes to fight. They both need to work on their inner demons. Wether that be together or on their own, but in order to sustain their relationship it's important they heal from life's stabs and learn to love themselves and life itself.

It was enough to drive Harry completely insane. He wanted Louis, but he knew that their relationship was soured and he felt he couldn't fix it at this point. He didn't know how and he was sure that Louis didn't know how either.

Harry rolls his eyes at himself for what he's about to do. He gives into the anxiety of the situation and sends Louis a text, asking what he's doing today. Harry failed the 'What to do when you break up'. He accepted it. He really was dying to see, touch and feel him again. He had so much to say to him.

He slides up the messages app and goes to his call log to pull up his sister. He had promised her he would keep in touch after their father passed away.

"Hello..?" Gemma's voice rings through the google home speaker Harry has his phone connected to.

"Hey Gem, what's up?" Harry asks, staring off at the coaster on the end table by the blue loveseat he'd picked to lounge on.

"Haha gotcha! Can't get to the phone right now! Leave a message I'll call you back..or just text me and don't be weird!" The ding for the voicemail rings and Harry is glaring hard at his phone.

"Fuck you Gemma, change this voicemail, I'm not gonna ask you again, that shit ruins dreams." Harry snaps into the phone, eyebrows furrowed as he ends the call and goes to text her.

Harry: Call me back, CHANGE YOUR VOICEMAIL GEMMA FOR REAL

It only takes Gemma a couple seconds to read it and Harry only gets more pissed.