letters to deena

❁ from jasmine ❁ (@grandespie)

Dear Deena,

Hi deena! aw i missed you SO much! i am so proud of you anyway, for making such a big change and a fresh new start, most of us are afraid to do it but you're not, good luck bby . anyway, i've read your letter and i wanted to say that you're special too, and i am so thankful that you're my bestfriend. i literally cried when i read your letter, i miss you so much. and i wanted to tell you a little bit update on my crush i cant tell you everything because this is public but yeah. 1st, i moved on from my senior crush so basically he's not my crush anymore. 2nd i MIGHT have a new one but im nOT SURE. 3rd how's the principal kid? . 4th i cant move on from dylan.

And yeah this is pretty awkward because when everyone else saying some emotional things, i told you my crush update, but seriously i miss talking to you on DM. or mentioned you "BEEP BEEP CRUSH STORY DM ASAP" and i never thought of you leaving twitter, NEVER. and few days after you deactivated (couple of weeks probably?) (i was so busy of school) and it hits me so hard because you're the one i talked to when things got so complicated, not only about crushes, but also friendships, dramas at school, and you're always by my side.

I felt the biggest guilt ever because its been a while since we talked, probably the last time we talked was when you were graduating right? I felt like i am the worst friend ever, i miss you so much, probably its the 3rd time i said that but trust me, i really missed you.

So earlier this July i went back to school for only a week and then go straight to holiday again until early august. And trust me, things got worse. Not about crushes or what, its about popularity and things. I need you, you're my chatter box, you understand, i wish we could meet someday and hugs eachother and having a little starbucks time together while telling eachother stories about life. I wish. And if i could, i would do it right away.

I was so open to you about things, even i think you know more about my secrets than my besties here, and fyi i have a trust issue. I miss when you randomly tweeted "meow" (have i said that?) or when you greeted me and sometimes i only responded to you with some short sentences, i FEEL SO BAD SERIOUSLY!!

I think im sucks at these things, im sucks at saying goodbye or the "i miss you" speech. because im that person who is hard to move on, i dont know if that makes sense because i just told u i moved on from my crush but tRUST ME i moved on from my crush. Anyway, yeah, i just couldnt say it you know, it's so hard. That's why i cant keep it so serious and emotional, because it hurts, the goodbyes and things like this. Probably this is the most lame letter in this 'book'?

But deena, i'll always be there for you, when you needed someone to tell stories to, i am here. I dont know how we will communicate, but we will find a way, seriously, we will (even if that means i have to re install my kik) i miss you very much, and i love you ❤️ Thank you for being on my side and 100% supportive, and now it's my turn. Go and chase your dreams, i am so proud of you

"its not the goodbye that hurts, but its the flashbacks that follows"

-Jasmine (@grandespie)

love u lots kitty xx