letters to deena

❁ from susan ❁ (@BlackStarSusan/TheSwanFalls)

Dearest, sweetest, most amazing Deena,

I was so incredibly happy when I saw your message on ask.fm. I had been under the assumption that you had returned to twitter, but your disgusting impersonator had only come online once and hadn’t given any explanation why you had left. I didn’t even care, I was just really happy you were back. But now I know the true story. You’re not back, and you won’t ever come back. And that’s okay.

Twitter life is great. The idea that people from all over the world are united by one artist, movie or book and become a family is as wonderful as it’s weird. Many people have claimed that you can’t really know someone if you only talk to them online. I think that’s bullshit. I’ve made so many friends, felt connected with so many people and I hadn’t met a single one of them. People on twitter are always there, they always listen and they always care. They can cheer you up when you’re down, they can cry with you and they can help you in whatever complicated situation you’re in, because there’s always someone who’s been through the same.

So yes, twitter life is amazing, helpful and special. I’ve experienced it, I’ve been through it, but I’ve also ended it.

Well, I haven’t actually ended it, not the way you did. But I’ve strongly reduced it. And that’s because there’s one thing that’s more amazing than twitter life, and that’s real life. In real life, there are people to meet and who can help you too. But most important: there are people who can hug you, wipe away your tears, kiss you, see, hear, smell and touch you and do crazy things with you. People who can actually be with you. And a few months ago I realized that I couldn’t fully live my real life if I were stuck on twitter all day. I was sitting on the couch on a sunny day, tweeting, while I could be outside having watergun fights. I had almost stopped reading because I spent all the free time I had left after schooldays and home work on twitter. I didn’t tell my friends about my personal problems anymore, because I was too busy informing my 2k followers. I had stopped truely living my real life.

After I went on a school trip to Italy, I came to the conclusion that I had to turn things around. I had experienced so many things on that trip while being offline, and that was when I knew that I could only live one life to the fullest. And I chose my real life.

And you just did the same. You chose to follow your dreams. You’re focussing on school now, so you can maybe study in London one day. And no matter how empty twitter is without you, no matter how many people miss you and no matter how much I’d like to talk to you, that has absolutely been the right decision. I admire you for making that choice. Because I know you were still more attached to twitter when you left than I were. And I know you were more popular than I were, that you were friends with more people than I were. You were my number one friend Deena, and it doesn’t matter that I wasn’t yours. I’m just really glad that you adressed me in your Wattpad.

Many people will want you to come back. And you’ll probably want to come back too. But believe me, real life will pay it back to you. Even though it can be hard, and people can be mean, and school can be tough. In the end, the memories you make and the things you experience while actually living are worth it. Twitter has been a great period in my- and I’m sure also in your life. But now it’s time for change.

I really hope that one day you’ll get to London. I’ve been there quite a few times and it’s also my dream to study in the UK. If things go as planned, I’ll be going to college in either Edinburgh or Oxford in four years. And I know you’ll get there too. You’re motivated, passionate and ambitious and that’s all you need to accomplish your goals. You’re strong, smart and talented. You can do it. So please please please, when, and not if, you get to London, let me know. Add me on Skype, Facebook or whatever. You can do it now or whenever you’re ready or not at all. I’m just saying that I’d love to meet the most amazing girl that ever logged in on twitter in person. You’ve been one of the best friends I ever had. You’re the most sweet, kind and cute cat in the world. And I bet you’re beautiful too, although I’ve never seen your face (you shouldn’t want my face btw, I’m having a pimple explosion atm). It’s my dream to see that face of yours, to really and not virtually hug you and to be able to chat with you over a cup of Starbucks coffee while walking over Picadilly Circus on our way to whatever adventure awaits.

So Deena, sweetest Deena, I wish you all the best in the world. I believe in you, and you should believe in yourself too. Follow your dreams, make them come true. You’ve got what it takes.

I love you, I miss you and I’ll never forget you. See you soon kitty. Meow.

Love, Susan aka @BlackStarSusan (although that’s not my username anymore) (I’m @TheSwanFalls now, if you’d ever feel the urgent need to find my twitter)