the originals | ♠️

more than a monster

"Lian," Cassandra called out to her father figure who was crunching numbers on their newly bought apartment. His eyes were flashing crazily, something Cassandra remembered they used to do when Jude would get mad at him. Killian glanced over at Jude, his bright blue eyes sticking for a moment and then fading slowly. His whole body relaxed as he took a deep breath and focused on her.

"Hmm?" He smiled lightly, something that was only resesrved for her nowadays.

"Can I ask you a question?" Cassandra leaned back letting her neck lay on the back of the couch. She had been wondering for a long time about this inquiry.

Killian chuckled as he responded, "You can ask me two," he looked down before he added with a wider grin, "Unless it has anything to do with math."

Cassandra gave a sad smile, still looking up at the ceiling before lightly laughing. "No, I doesn't have to do with Math," she smiled, making eye contact with Killian before continuing. She took a deep breath, looking intently at her shoes before finally asking, "Why does everyone think you're horrible?"

The question took Killian back. It was easy to forget that Cassi didn't know about his past, how he was the monster children feared around the globe. That the stories about the grim reaper and other fictional killers were based off of him. No, she only saw him now.

"Well," His breath was getting caught in his throat. "I, um," he couldn't finish his sentence. His eyes were set on the small picture of Jude that sat on the wooden coffee table in front of him. It was because of her that he was some form of civilized now.

"Before I met Jude," He trudged through his thoughts, trying to find a way to tell Cassi without making her hate him. Without making her see the monster that he was. "I wasn't the man I am today."

"I know that," Cassi sighed, laying her head down on a pillow, " You always say you were bad, you were a killer, news flash, we all are."

Killian smiled softly. She was right, of course. Cassandra was witty, and that combined with the fact that she was the equivalent of a teenager in the vampire world was interesting sometimes. She always questioned things and she didn't have much patience. Killian couldn't help but find it endearing, though; he was the same at the age.

"You're not." He flicked his gaze to her. Sometimes he was thankful for her only feeding on animals. She wouldn't thrist for blood like he had, she wouldn't become a monster of global proportions. She'd be sweet and kind, just like Jude.

"Killian," She whined.

"I know, I know," he murrmured. "I know."

He looked at Cassi, laying on the couch like a small child would. She was wearing a ridiculous pair of scooby doo pajamas that she begged for at the store and she was wearing a pair of mystery machine slippers. She was innocent, and Killian wished he could keep her that way.

"I just don't want you to be like me," he explained, "A monster."

"You're not a monster, Killian. We both know that you were the one who wanted to keep me in the first place. You're the one looks at the sex offenders list and kills the worst ones, you're the one who still hasn't touched her side of the bed since she's left us." Cassandra whispered. She wished he wasn't so worried about her sometimes. He was like an over-protective dad.

The room was quiet for a moment. It was true, it was painful to even look at Jude's side of the room. He couldn't even think about packing all of her stuff in boxes and taking it with him to the new apartment in a few days. But that didn't make him any less of a monster, at least, not to himself. He still carried the weight of all the lost souls he's ever killed. The ones who hadn't even done a single thing wrong. They all haunted him.